Life comes at you fast. You think you’re living your best baddie life until you’re packing flat slippers in your bag every time you go out in heels. If there’s one thing more difficult than being a bad bitch, it’s making sure the title sticks, even when everything around you is moving mad.
But bad bitches have to retire at some point — and maybe even go on to become rich aunties — and it’s okay. So if any of these eight things start happening to you, just know retirement is knocking.
Your uniform game becomes mid
Everyone knows the baddie uniform is ashawo clothes. It’s the constitution. Once you find yourself considering the pros and cons because of a tiny reason like cold weather, it’s all over.
You start catching feelings
So you’re now thinking of someone and smiling to yourself? You now re-read chats and giggle like a hopeless romantic? What happened to “Catch flights, not feelings”?
You become prone to body aches
What’s a bad bitch doing with back pain? Once you can no longer twerk for five minutes in peace without putting out your back and knees, know the end is near.
You start carrying big bags
The pillar of bad bitchery is carrying bags that’ll only fit a tube of lipgloss and a phone. Anything bigger is a sign of basicness.
You’re queuing to buy fuel
How many baddies do you see queueing at filling stations? None. Who cares if fuel is scarce? Baddies don’t queue. Period.
Broke people approach you now
As a baddie, your entire existence should tell broke people, “I’m not in your league”. Once they start having the confidence to approach you, something is wrong somewhere.
You start to think creamy pasta is overpriced
Sure, the economy is economying, but even though. Pasta is your identity. Sticking to it is the price to pay for bad bitchery. Once you start considering the price, you might as well throw yourself a bad bitch retirement party.
You have more than one child
One child, we can excuse. But two or more? How do you want to be a baddie when you’re prepping meals and solving quantitative reasoning? Just retire peacefully, dear. You’ve had a good run.
NEXT READ: Before You Date a Bad Bitch, You Should Be Aware of These 8 Things
