1) When they spot a cat.
“It’s not my blood they’ll suck.”
2) When a bird makes noise outside their window at night.
“I heard owls only hoot when death is near.”
3) Immediately after having a bad dream.
“I HAVE to find out what this means.”
4) When that creepy, old relative in the village starts asking too many questions.
“She wants to steal my destiny. I just know it.”
5) When they mistakenly walk into a random spider web.
“I walked into a spider web and now I’m afraid I’ve been cursed with bad luck!”
6) When they see someone they want to marry.
“Pastor, please help me check if we’re spiritually compatible.”
7) When they see someone in their dream they’ve always suspected hates them.
“I FINALLY HAVE PROOF!”
8) When they reach a new milestone (like buying a car).
“Hello. I’d like to schedule a thanksgiving service, please.”
9) When they were sick but finally get better.
“Thank you so much for your prayers, pastor.”
‘Am I a joke to these people?!” – Hospital staff
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