On Twitter, you’ll find the good, bad and ugly, and it’s no different with football stan Twitter. World Cup 2022 is on, so here are ten types of people you may come across there.
The coaches
Just because one day, every week, they spend a few hours playing ball, they think they qualify as experts. They’ll cuss out the players, criticise the referee’s decisions and point out things that should’ve been done differently.
The history books
No one knows how old they are because they know everything that’s happened in football since the 80s. And how do we know this? They’re constantly comparing the details of every match with something that happened in the past.
The per-minute commentators
They come alive when a live match is on. Their TL goes from five tweets in a week to 52 in one game because they’re bantering and doing all the things they’d normally do at a live viewing centre, but on Twitter.
The “GOAT” idolisers
Football stans are just as toxic as other stans. They’ll throw all logic out the window when their GOAT is involved.
The Martin Luther Kings
They turn to Josephs before every match. Talking about “I had a dream”. Sometimes, they’re lucky, and their predictions come accurate; other times, it goes to complete shit. So if you know what’s good for you, don’t place any bets based on their dreams.
The “pick me” fans
They blow hot and cold at the same time. They’re very fickle-minded, so their opinions are easily swayed. One minute, they’re saying the team didn’t do badly. The next, they’re joining the majority to say the team isn’t shit.
The fighters
If there’s anything we know about Twitter, it’s people love vawulence. These ones will drag you through the streets of Twitter for having any take they disagree with. Their attack is stronger than the team they support.
The suffering and smiling fans
When their team loses, they renounce them and try to conceal their pain through bants and jokes, laying curses on the player who made their betting slip cut.
The gatekeepers
Because they started watching football when Thierry Henry was playing at Arsenal, they try to pull rank. They remind you of those mean SS 2 students who form seniority over those in SS 1.
The pseudo-fans
They don’t really watch football, so they consume as much information from different online sources as possible before they tweet and join in the arguments. They’re most likely trying to impress someone or suffering from FOMO. You’ll know them when you try to engage further by discussing the details of the match.
QUIZ: Can We Guess the Team You’re Supporting at the World Cup?
