If you have any reason at all to suspect that your mother-in-law is a witch, she most likely is. Before you jump to conclusions, however, read this article. If your mother-in-law does at least 3 of the things in this post, she’s definitely a witch. In fact, Patience Ozokwor no do reach her.

1. She doesn’t like your cooking

Wait o, don’t start thinking, “But I don’t know how to cook.” Even if you cook the weirdest food combinations, she’s supposed to eat it with all her ten fingers and not complain. She’s supposed to ask for more sef. Anytime your mother-in-law eats your food and doesn’t ask for more, just know she has ventured into witchcraft.

2. She keeps bothering you for grandchildren

Ask yourself, why is this woman so eager for me to have children? Does she want to use them for jazz? Does she want to eat them? Does she want to skin them and use their skin to make a fabulous coat? If your mother-in-law is a violent womb-watcher, she’s a witch.

3. She likes plaiting didi or all back with her natual hair

That’s their hairstyle. If she wears a wig, the association will deny her. Do you want to test this? Force her to make literally any other hairstyle or sleep in her wig. She will start crying and confessing.

4. She sleeps with one leg up

Everyone knows it’s only witches that sleep with their legs up on the wall, and that’s because they’re attending coven meetings. What you need to do is set up a secret camera in your mother-in-law’s room and watch her every night when she’s sleeping. Once she raises her legs like this, pour holy water on her and compel her with the power of Christ.

5. She tries to venture into your marital home

She will say things like, “I want to visit”. VISIT? She wants to survey your house so she will know where to send her minions to hurt you and possess your children to be shouting, “PUFF PUFF!

6. She’s nice to you

Where have you ever heard that a mother-in-law is nice? Niceness from mothers-in-law is only a strategy to make you lower your guard so you don’t suspect that evil is afoot. If you and your mother-in-law are not always at each other’s throats, it means something is wrong.

7. She’s hostile to you

Imagine after allowing you to marry her child, she now begins to act hostile towards you. Why? That is a witch and she must be exorcised with boiled anointing oil and Anurpurna iodized salt.

8. She likes buying groundnuts inside bottles

If your mother-in-law ever buys bottled groundnuts, it’s so that when the groundnut finishes, she can use the empty bottles to trap your soul. If she ever invites you over and she already has an empty bottle- or any other empty container- in her house, it means she’s ready to trap your soul. You in danger, girl.

9. She wants to cook for you

Once you eat her food like this, piam, you have died. Don’t try it.

10. She tells you to call her mummy

Call her mummy and you’ve given her permission to initiate you into witchcraft. Don’t do it. Be on a first-name basis, and nothing more.

QUIZ: Which Classic Nollywood Witch Are You?