In the days before Nigerian kids had social media and coding as extracurricular activities, there were certain useless talents kids used to be so proud of having that seemed somewhat cool at the time but are just really stupid (and downright creepy) in hindsight. Here are a few of them.
1. Being able to turn your eyelids inside out
I don’t know who told kids back then that this was appropriate to do and show people. But if you did this as a child, you deserve to get your ass kicked. I don’t care that you’re an adult now. Also, it’s a disability called “Ectropion.” The more you know.
2. Sewing your hands
Of all the useless talents Nigerian kids were proud of, this was by far the weirdest and scariest because it could have easily gone wrong at any time. Was it dead skin? Why did so many kids have access to needles? Kids should have a signed note from a parent to be able to buy things like that.
3. Rolling tongue
It’s funny how kids used to be so impressed by being able to roll their tongues, Do that now as an adult and, a picture will somehow end up being immortalised as a meme on the internet forever.
4. Making sweater babies
Since it’s no longer a thing, I guess we’ll never know the logic behind turning sweaters into the shapes of a swaddled baby. We hope that kids that used to treat those sweater babies as footballs by dropkicking them don’t have kids now because omo…
5. Cartwheeling
If you sit down with a group of kids for more than two seconds, at least one of them will cartwheel in a bid to impress you. First of all, humans were not made to stand upside down, please. Secondly, what if you break your neck? Did anyone ever think of this??
6. Turning your lips outward and letting them stick
How do you even discover that you have a useless talent like this? Who randomly plays with their lips until this happens?
7. Having that white spots on your fingernail
The worst thing about this useless talent Nigerian kids used to be proud of is that having a white mark on your fingernail probably meant a deficiency in certain minerals or vitamins. No, because kids made up a whole song about a white bird that would give them white fingers. Anyways, it’s their creativity for us.
8. Whistling
For some reason, adults made up the most elaborate lies to make kids stop whistling but they never worked. Is it cool that you make very annoying and unusual sounds from your mouth? Maybe.
9. Being able to snap your fingers
Some kids could only snap the fingers on one hand, others could snap on both hands, either way, it’s not exactly a talent. Especially not when 5 girls snap their fingers at you while insulting you. Some kids went as far as soaking their hands in water for a long period to make it snap. No wonder parents always seemed annoyed with kids for no reason.
10. Spinning pens, books, padlocks
People that went to boarding school can relate to spinning padlocks during recess to cure boredom. It was kind of impressive that some people could spin books until they tore and padlocks until they didn’t work anymore.
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