You know those people you meet every once in while who look so young that you can’t help but stare wide-eyed with surprise when they reveal their actual age?
Well, I spoke with 12 Nigerians on what reality is like for them in that regard. What exactly are the pros and cons of looking younger than your age?
Read on to find out.
Bolu, 24, F
Back then in university, most people assumed I was about 18 and they always looked shocked when I said 15. When I was between the ages of 18-21, people started assuming I had just finished WAEC. Years after that, they’d see my sister and I together and assume she gave birth to me. There was a day I went to the embassy with my mum and sister and had to wait outside because I didn’t have an interview. When they came out, someone turned to my sister, assuming she’s my mum and asked why I can’t travel with her during the holidays to my embarrassment. Another disadvantage of looking younger than my age is outings — I always get the aren’t-you-too-young-to-be-here look, and I swear to God, it ruins my search for a sugar mummy. On the advantageous side, people get shocked when we go out and my sister looks at me to pay. They always have this shocked face. I can literally move around with gadgets or even cash worth 1 million Naira and nobody would guess. Work wise, people can be disrespectful. So, I like the look on their faces when my boss directs them to me and says, “She’s in charge.” It’s priceless.
Debbie, 21, F
Anyone seeing me for the first time assumes I’m a teenager of 16 or 17 years to be precise. I like seeing the surprise on people’s faces when they hear my real age which makes them respect me. The earliest memory I have of my small stature being an issue was when I just became a teenager. There were two of my brother’s age mates in my church who thought they could bully me because they looked older. They didn’t know me as his sister until one day when they saw us talking. Eventually, they got to know that I’m older than him. Since then, whenever they see me, they regard me with respect. When I was in 100 level, a lecturer saw me and asked what I was doing in the university at my young age. He thought I was 15 because of my stature, and was surprised when I told him I was 19. One thing I can say I do not like about my stature is that, whenever I see big people, I tend to always call them with respect while they regard me as their junior. Then whenever I get to discover we’re age mates or I’m older than them, it becomes difficult for me to stop regarding them as being older. Asides this, I’m kind of okay with my stature.
Gabriel, 26, M
It’s been a blessing more than a curse. I hardly ever get in trouble because I don’t look so young. I can easily pass for a first year student in any university and get into a lot of places by looking like a clueless undergraduate. It’s just nice overall. In relationships though, it was kind of an issue. Most girls wanted some one that looked like he could take on Thanos and John Wick, and having a baby face doesn’t help. Many girls don’t want to look older than their partners. I think that’s why they want guys 5 years+ older than them. Also, looking younger got in the way of ordering alcohol at pubs or bars. I’d have to show my ID and that sucks sometimes. I remember one incident when I was 19 and thought I could order on a flight. This air hostess told me I was underage and I just kept quiet and asked for juice. I’m over it now. My beard is coming out and I’m dating a beauty. So, it’s all balanced.
Lara, 27, F
No one ever believes I’m 27, because I’m 5’0. It does make me feel somehow sometimes, but then I get to meet people who love my stature. They mention how I’d still be looking like a young girl when I’m old. On most occasions though, I get disrespected by people who are way younger than me. I have a very sharp mouth that compensates for my stature. So, when a younger person talks to me with disrespect, it’s either I don’t answer or I look at them with that Nigerian mother kind of eyes for the person to sense that they are being annoying. There are times I call people by their names and they look at me like, “Can’t you call me aunty?” Me that I’m in my late 20s. As a yoruba girl, respect is a very vital part of our culture, so I’m always quick to call people “aunty” and things like that.
Samantha, 20, F
I think when I was 15, I was the second smallest in the whole SS3. Now, at 20, getting clothes in the right fit is always very stressful. I love that my stature makes me look so young, but then that is also what I don’t like about it. Everybody keeps saying I’m so young and my education is fast, but I know they say this not because of my age but because of my stature. I also don’t like when people keep asking any friend I walk with if I’m their younger sister. People keep saying I should start eating, and it makes me wonder, “Did I tell you I’ve been fasting?”
Lola, 25, F
When people first discover my age, they go through feelings of shock, disbelief and then this weird facial expression. Afterwards, they begin to treat me with respect or like I’m 30, and the shift in the relationship would be very obvious. I like that I look evergreen. When others are looking 35, I’ll be looking younger than my age. I’ll be the definition of “black don’t crack.” I am proud of my stature. The only thing is that sometimes, I am reluctant to say my age out loud; it reminds me that I’m really getting old and shouldn’t let my body deceive me. As someone who looks younger than their age, aside from still fitting into your favorite clothes of years ago, it sucks to see you didn’t grow much. Or people mistaking your younger ones for your seniors. If I could change anything, it’ll probably be to just add more flesh.
Debo, 27, M
All my crushes never saw me as a man, just their junior brother. They always say they’re not interested in me, even before I say hello. So, I just lock up most of the time. That’s why I leave my facial hair. At least, it adds a little bit of maturity to my face, if not they’d say I look 17. And my mom always says I never dropped the face I had as a baby. Even a colleague at work debated my age due to how I look facially. I’ve been given all kinds of tips for growing a beard. Some people said I should use spirit. I guess it works, but I’ve never tried it.
Fifi, 23, F
I am quite short and skinny, but not many people notice it though because my late grandma gifted me big boobs and chubby cheeks. People are quick to assume I am an innocent teenager, but I am really twenty-three years old. I get to hear, “You are so wise beyond your age” from those who think I am fifteen. Somehow, they think that’s a compliment. Lol. One time, a boy of thirteen came to greet me and he slapped my head to say hi. I was so embarrassed that day. I fear finding a partner may be difficult. My specs probably see me as underaged, while my peers think I am wiser than them and won’t consider me.
Yetunde, 19, F
I look four years younger than my age. I don’t think there’s anything good about it these days, especially now that people respect you based on how your body looks. Majority being guys.The only upside is that I know when I grow older, I’ll look younger than my age too. My landlord’s children disrespect me because I look like we’re age mates. Mind you, these children are just 13, 14 and 16. The sixteen year old looks like she’s my elder sister, so it’s easy for her to disrespect me. Even my younger sister looks older than me. Everywhere we go, it’s the same story — people think I’m her junior. It can be painful.
Tayo, 25, M
What I love about having a small stature is that I don’t get saddled with unnecessary responsibilities. Everyone just assumes I’m the youngest wherever I find myself, so it’s sort of a relief getting let off the hook. I do hate the constant comparison with my sister who is twice my size, but is 3 years my junior. Also, when I’m out with my friends it’s always as if I don’t quite fit in because everyone just looks bigger.
Blessing, 24, F
My earliest memory of feeling out of place about my stature has to be in primary 3. I was always the smallest in class, and they called me “smallie.” Everybody treated me like a baby. During teenage years, when people were getting taller, I realised that I was still small. Then came the family members asking “Don’t you eat? Can’t you see this person is growing and looks healthy? Maybe you should eat enough beans.” They constantly monitored my weight and compared me to other people’s children. When you feel down in the dumps, they also ask if you are sick or treat you differently. It appears people believe once you have a small stature, then maybe you are unhealthy. It’s just recently that some people began to accept the fact that not everyone is meant to look big.
