Kissing is supposed to be enjoyable — just like every other activity involved in the genital bumping experience. But life happens and you might jam someone who will deprive you of the necessary enjoyment. Or you could be the one who does the depriving.
For this post, 12 Nigerians talk about their worst kissing experience.
Lolade
I have a small mouth which makes anyone kissing me dominate. It’s a very enjoyable thing until my churchy boyfriend decided to turn my lips to shaki from a stubborn ram. This guy chewed my lips. His lips are way bigger and he is a fast kisser and so when the kiss happened, I was completely choked. It was a real case of ‘who dey breet’. Imagine putting your lips in a hot hair straightener. That’s just how horrible it was. Of course, I woke up with my lips swollen and sore. When my coursemate saw me, she asked if I kissed a gorilla in my dreams.
Tunbosun.
I once kissed this babe that was packing tongue inside my mouth as if she forgot something there. Maybe she was trying to lick my throat.
Marcos.
I had a brief affair with a woman who thought kissing meant chomping. All she actually did was chew my lips one by one before sucking them again, one after the other. She did the same with my tongue, and for some reason that defies belief, she proceeded to lick my face. My nose, lips, cheeks, even eyes, they all got a baptismal visit from her tongue. I was too stunned (and horny) to protest. All these were accompanied by very loud slurping sounds. Her only redemption was her blow job skills. Thank goodness the affair was brief. I don’t exactly remember how the affair ended, but I was left mildly traumatized.
Jayeola.
He just had really really bad breath.
Amarachi.
He had gap teeth and he kept sucking my tongue as if he wanted to make it pass through the gap teeth.
It was disgusting, and I think it was probably because I didn’t like him.
Linda.
I was very vulnerable that day so I was crying and bros brought mouth to kiss o. I didn’t mind so I said let me clean my catarrh first, but uncle said, “No need, we have been friends for years, catarrh isn’t a problem.” Next thing, bros put mouth on my nose, sucked on it, and catarrh followed. Would you believe he swallowed it and wanted to kiss me again?
Omo I cleaned my eyes, stood up and walked away. He called me tire, I no even look back.
Dooshima.
I did a genital meet and greet with someone. Mans was kissing me like I killed his favourite pet. He kept using his tongue and pouring spit into my mouth. I was disgusted. And it was even more painful because I like foreplay before sex because that’s the only way I cum. But he was already pressing his dick to enter when we had just started and he was getting the kissing wrong. I just stood up and left and for days after, I kept vomiting.
Rebecca.
I once had a stint with this guy in my department. When the kiss eventually happened, I wasn’t that into the idea, but he waas eager and maybe that was the problem. He licked the lipstick off my lips while I sat there with my lips sealed, unwilling to let his saliva enter my mouth. When he was done, I spat repeatedly, bought a sachet of water and rinsed my mouth well. That was the last day I french kissed him.
Ujunwa.
Mine happened recently. The guy literally just sucked my lips, and didn’t even know how to use his tongue, I wasn’t even able to kiss back and the way he held my face, you would think he wanted to swallow my mouth. I stopped the whole nonsense and we tried again, but it was still the same thing. He was making noises like uauhn mewt mewt mewt and I had to move his mouth to my neck because God abeg. The rest of the things that went down that day was good but the kiss was a complete no.
Pauline.
The guy opened his mouth really wide and for a split second, I was confused as to what his intention was. Before I knew it, his lips and tongue were all over my nose and mouth and the corners of my mouth. It was a big turn off. I just stood up, went to wash my face, wore my clothes and left. Now, I hate kissing.
Ajoke.
I was under a blanket with this guy and we were both gisting. The conversation led into him asking for permission to lean in for a kiss, and I said yes. Honestly, I don’t think he’s a bad person but that kiss was so forceful, so much energy expended into an act that was supposed to be tender. When I was ‘released’ I had to ask him, “Is this how you kiss everyone else?” And this guy said yes. We never kissed again.
Hajarat.
It was with this guy I liked him and had been wanting to kiss him for so long. Well, it turned out to be a bad idea.
The guy’s mouth had this awful smell so I tried moving away. But he didn’t even allow me to. He held me there and kept kissing like his life depended on it. He used too much tongue too and there was a lot of saliva pouring and hard biting. See, let’s just say that was the last time I saw him.
