Before you get a job at a Nigerian organisation, check that they don’t do any of the things on this list.

Thank us later.

1. They waste your time at the interview

If they say the interview is by 8 a.m. and they make you wait more than 5 minutes before attending to you, just pack your load and be going because they will stress your life. If they cannot keep to time for an outsider, imagine what they’ll do to you when you get in. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

2. They say stuff like, “We’re a family here”

If we’re a family here, why are you people not serving breakfast, lunch and dinner? Why can’t I get to work whenever I like? Why can’t I be shirtless in the office? Why am I not a stakeholder in this business? If I do nonsense, will you fire me from my family? These are the questions.

3. They don’t pay salaries on time

See, just run. If after your first two months, your salary doesn’t enter on time, just run.

4. You have to call your boss “Mummy” or “Daddy”

Are you shocked? People do this in this Nigeria o.

5. They say, “We work hard and play hard”

They are lying. They don’t play hard. The only play they do is once every six months when they buy pizza and do karaoke. The hard work part is true sha.

6. You can’t go on leave until you spend 1 year there

You should be able to go on leave after, at most, six months. Any other thing is slavery.

7. The job application has a lot of prospective tasks and then at the end, they say the salary is “competitive”

This is the corporate equivalent of Instagram vendors’ “DM for details”. If you’re saying so much about what someone will do at the job, kuku say the salary.

8. The company doesn’t have a HR person

Who will you run to when they ask you to carry the entire company’s load on your head.

9. They say their working environment is young and vibrant

You see that “vibrant”, don’t believe it o. They’re preparing you to work like a camel. Run.

10. They don’t give you a contract

If your employment is on vibes and agreements, I pity you.

11. There’s a PS4 in the office

They use PS4s to lure unsuspecting young people. You, get there and touch the PS4 first. They will give you query, straight. How can you play games during office hours.

12. You don’t know any of your colleague’s salary

Do we have to explain this one?


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