Recently, I asked a couple of Nigerians to tell me behaviours that would confuse a non-Nigerian.
Here’s a list of what they said:
1) Praise and worship at work before starting the day.
This behaviour is common among civil servants especially after they have kept you waiting for a hundred years.
2) Binding and casting your house after your extended family members come visiting.
Holy water a day keeps the demons away.
3) Accepting food and pouring it away.
Because your neighbours want to steal your destiny with Sallah meat or Christmas rice. Stay jiggy!
4) Bribing someone for something and fervently praying over it.
Faith without works eh?
5) Not telling people before you travel.
Only text them after safely arriving.
6) Not sharing pregnancy news until you give birth.
Repeat above.
7) Not accepting things with the left hand.
The left hand is disrespectful, period. Don’t ask why. Right hand good, left hand bad.
8) Associating witches and wizards with your father’s side of the family.
Even though they may be the mother’s side for someone else.
9) Saying sorry even though you’re not the cause of a problem.
If you don’t say ‘sorry’, how else will they know that you aren’t responsible for their misfortune? As a bonus, add a bit of display and shout the name of the God you believe in at least three times.
10) Saying “it is well” especially when it is not well.
Government: A dollar is now ₦600.
Nigerians: It is well.
11) Leaving country development to God.
Nobody:
Nigerian politician: If God wills it, we’ll achieve vision 2020.
12) Not eating your meat until you finish your food.
Because people who ate their meat before finishing their food all grew up to be politicians thieves.
