In Nigeria, it is a religious practice to wash your head in a large body of water whenever someone is experiencing a string of bad luck. If any of these things are happening to you, you need to find somewhere to wash your head and get rid of the bad luck. If all of them are happening to you, sorry but Zikoko can’t help you.
1. They’re always cheating on you.
If you’ve been cheated on in all your relationships, it’s not them, it’s you. Go and wash your head in the Lagos lagoon.
2. Cars are always splashing water on you.
If cars always splash water on you when it rains, you either need to buy your own car or wash your head and throw the sponge away into the ocean.
3. You’re always losing your things.
You can’t stop losing all your personal items like your phone, keys, purse/wallet? Go and wash your head. This is not ordinary eye.
4. You always invest in Ponzi schemes that fold up.
A Ponzi scheme starts looking good but anytime you invest, that’s when they go under? That’s a combination of bad luck and lbad decision-making.
5. You’re always burning food when you cook.
Hmmm. You need to consult a dibia to see the root cause of your bad luck.
6. The buses/cabs you enter always develop mechanical problems.
It’s only the vehicles you enter that always develop faults? Go and wash your head and throw the sponge in a canal. Village people have set up a committee on your matter.
7. You always have problems with FRSC/LASTMA/VIO.
You finally bought a car but law enforcement is always catching you? That’s a sign you need to wash your head to rid it of bad luck.
8. You’ve been caught having sex.
This is the worst. Imagine being on top of someone’s son daughter and somebody walks in. Even worse is if the person is your parent. Just move to another country and don’t come back, this one has passed washing of head.
9. Your name starts with A and you’re always the first to collect punishment.
You should wash your head and do a change of name ASAP.
10. Your name starts with Z and you’re always the last to collect good things.
See number 9 above.
11. You’re always getting dragged on social media.
Not only do you need to wash your head, but you also need to examine your behaviour and change your ways. Also, try and do sacrifice to your village gods.
12. Food never gets to your table at parties.
Even though you’ve called the waiter 12 times to bring food to you. When they eventually do, they only bring semo without soup. That’s bad luck dear. Wash your head.
13. Souvenir always finishes before it gets to your turn.
How do you go to an owambe and not get souvenirs? Not even a pack of salt? Something is wrong somewhere.
