Arguably one of the most difficult things to be in Nigeria is single. Asides from the fact that when you’re single, you start to notice every happy couple – even the unhappy ones look happy – around you;
Everybody in a relationship taking cute pictures falling in love.
Who gone love me? Who gone make me feel good? pic.twitter.com/2P1hInvQaj
— Khadi Don (@KhadiDon) August 5, 2015
People will NOT stop asking these weird questions about your relationship status.
The #SingleToStupor went viral on Nigerian twitter and, as you may expect, the tweets were equal parts funny and true. Here are the best ones that correctly capture what it’s like to be single in Nigeria:
1. When your first text in a day comes from your network provider
#SingleToStupor because the only text that wakes you in the morning is from 4100, 5020, 55336 😭😭😭😭
— Sisi Zolanski ⚡ (@Isab33lla) September 17, 2015
2. When you don’t even pretend to be choosy about partners anymore
When people ask what you look for in a guy and you're just staring like 😩 "I don't even know again, bring the one you have #SingleToStupor
— lucky girl (@AllyShimmer) September 17, 2015
3. When your call log only has your family – not even friends – on it
https://twitter.com/Pope_khofe/status/644638118809894913
4. When you are secretly excited by others’ break ups
You are #SingleToStupor
When you feel better about someone’s break up, just so you can finally have someone to be single with. 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊— ✞he Black Pope (@Pope_khofe) September 17, 2015
5. When you are in no hurry to charge your phone. Ever.
Letting you phone battery die and not even bothering to charge it because no one is texting you #SingleToStupor
— Konyinsola Osinubi (@KJOS__) September 17, 2015
6. When you’re tired of explaining your status so now you have a bae. But he has travelled.
https://twitter.com/DJChimmy/status/644605960993009664
7. When you’ve been single for so long. What is a relationship?
https://twitter.com/DJChimmy/status/644602397986263042
8. When your playlist is full of songs that glorify being alone. 🙂
https://twitter.com/HausOfZara/status/644600148463603713
9. Avoiding the Gym because too many couples. Please let me be fat alone.
https://twitter.com/Thekelechiamadi/status/644934608426008576
10. When you have to reassure yourself that you’re not ugly.
https://twitter.com/Gomeznsude/status/644791506969186304
11. When you seriously hate romantic songs now
You are #SingleToStupor when @adekunleGOLD s orente comes up hotnaija jams on soundcity and you be like pic.twitter.com/7P2jiV0HiR
— Adetayo (@BeebeeIII) September 17, 2015
12. LMAO! Even Siri curves you
You know you are #SingleToStupor when even siri "curves" you like okra soup! 😭😭😭😭 cc @TheUnscripted_ pic.twitter.com/cctpGMMI2p
— Sisi Zolanski ⚡ (@Isab33lla) September 17, 2015
13. When you forget sometimes that you are single. Then you remember.
https://twitter.com/Pope_khofe/status/644628847820980224
14. When you seriously need a boy/girlfriend. Urgently
When you have no bae but you missing bae #SingleToStupor pic.twitter.com/t5YOaztBE5
— max (@maynelan) September 17, 2015
15. When your money is solely spent on yourself. No one else.
https://twitter.com/OfficialKelss/status/644616325432799232
16. When you cannot go on double dates, because no date.
When your friends in relationships go on double dates and you just sit at home like #SingleToStupor pic.twitter.com/bySggE1xvq
— kubz (@Kv_bby) September 17, 2015
17. When you feel even worse when no one agrees that you’re single. Oshey phantom boyfriend.
https://twitter.com/TheChronicE_/status/644630990829301761
18. People compliment you everyday, but still Single. -__-
Everyday compliments, everyday wash yet nothing to show for it #SingleToStupor
— Leema Mason (@HausaChocolate) September 17, 2015
19. When your reason for being single is work. But you know you’re not that busy.
https://twitter.com/miss_funmi/status/644604903357292544
The trend is still ongoing, sooo join in maybe? But the most important thing to you should be your happiness. Put that first and you will be alright because,