Owambe is the real deal in Nigeria — the ultimate Nigerian experience. Every other Saturday, the average Nigerian looks forward to attending a party.
People tend to go to parties for three major reasons: to slay, to feel among or to eat. Amongst the people who go there to eat, there are levels and this includes the nitpick eater, the always-asking-for-more eater and then there’s the hoarder. The hoarders are a different breed. They are so different, we’ve made an entire post about them.
These five behaviours will prove if you’re a hoarder or not:
- When considering the outfit to wear, you always put in mind the fact that you might need to bring food back home from the party. Maybe take a bigger bag that matches that black dress? You might even take disposable plastics or nylons with you. The more the merrier. The hoarders are forever ready.
- Feeling like a G when people at your table start complaining about how the prawns didn’t get to them. Haq haq haq. They don’t know you have the direct line to the kitchen. In fact, there are about four servings worth of prawns in your bag. The way you’ll do asepo tomorrow ehn, no be for here.
- Getting pissed when people come back from party empty handed. What’s the essence of going nigbayen?
- Not being able to deal with the fact that you are expected to bring some edibles or drinks when going to a party. What’s now the point? I can’t deal, is my presence not enough?
- How you laugh so hard in your mind when you hear people referring to you as someone who never hoards food at parties. Haq haq haq. They don’t know you have the key to hoarders gate, in fact you could give them a few lessons. Like, how to be an hoarder at parties without seeming like one.
