Waking up every day as a Nigerian living in Nigeria is an excruciating experience, but thanks to the ever-kind people at Zikoko, we have come up with a few realistic ways you can get out of this country before this country finishes you.
1. Jazz
Yes, you heard us correctly. You may be afraid to contact the jazzmen in your village so your village people don’t ruin your plans, but thanks to technology, you can now find them on Instagram. Be ready to pay oh; we hear they don’t come cheap.
2. Dreaming
What better way to get to your dream country than actually dreaming about it every night. Stare at pictures of the Canadian flag, keep doing this till you get the desired effect.
3. Night Bus
In case you’re not a dreamer, the night bus is your next best bet. Take the bus going out of Nigeria, go to the nearest park and ask for whatever bus is leaving Nigeria.
4. Legzus
All hopes have failed for you to fall into this category but we get it, leaving Nigeria is a must. Start your journey by 12 midnight, but before you start, please cover yourself in the blood of Jesus and ensure you use google maps to lead you through the best routes.
5. Aladdin’s Magic Carpet
Go to the nearest call center and tell them to link you to Aladdin. Don’t tell them why you are calling him sha, so they don’t chance you. When you reach him, beg him to borrow you his carpet because your life depends on it. We hope he says yes.
6. Anoint Your Passport And Go To The Airport.
We have heard the testimonies, so we advise you try it out. Anoint the passport, when you get to the airport, tell them your pastor said they should let you in. Don’t worry, it will work.
We have told you all these now oo, last to leave Nigeria is a fool.
