Lent is the period of sober reflection. You’re to forfeit things you enjoy doing and think about your life. Although Nigerians neither know how to be sober or to reflect, we hope this period gives us the opportunity to start thinking about giving up the following things
1) Nigeria
Nigeria is difficult enough as it is, and identifying with this country means you’re destined to have one “na me fuck up” moment. Even if it’s only during Lent, let other countries adopt Nigerians so we can experience sanity.
2) Jumping queues
You’d see a line and choose disorder and chaos. Why? We as a nation should give up queue-jumping. We’ve moved past this as a society and we need to start cosplaying Nigeria as a place that has law and order.
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3) Taking traffic lights as a suggestion
Are Nigerians aware that traffic lights are not suggestions but things you’re to adhere to completely? For Lent, why don’t we try obeying traffic lights. Accidents will reduce and everyone will be happy. Maybe if we see how sensible the idea is, everyone will adopt it going forward.
4) Putting mouth in everyone’s business
Aproko is not one of the fruits of the spirit, so why don’t Nigerians try to mind their business? Even if it’s just for a couple of weeks. Please.
5) Fighting the people they’re owing money
How can you be owing someone money and be threatening them? How do Nigerians think that’s normal? It’s a spirit and maybe if we deny that spirit for lent, it’ll leave permanently.
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6) Honking car horns unnecessarily
Horns are not meant to be used 24/7. A horn-free Nigeria is a blessed Nigeria. For Lent, the Federal government should remove all the horns from cars in this country. Let’s experience what peace and quiet is like for once in our lives.
7) Lying unprovoked
Why do Nigerians lie when no one asks them? They’ll be at home sweeping and they’ll tell you that they’re on your street. Stop lying and embrace truth.
