Breakups can be painful, messy or even easy. But nothing is funnier than a petty breakup. We asked eight Nigerian to share the pettiest reason they’ve broken up with someone over, and their answers left us in stitches.]
Funke
He never used to tamba (clean his bum with water after using the toilet), and he refused to do it even when I told him about it. I couldn’t deal with that, abeg.
David
Every single time I sat down to play FIFA, she’d find one reason or the other to immediately interrupt me. I mean, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. She clearly didn’t like me.
Steve
She had a hugeeee head. I had never seen that kind of head in my life before. Like, it was fine until I started thinking about marriage. I couldn’t risk allowing my kids have that kind of head.
Lanre
She said Ghanaian jollof is better than Nigerian jollof. To be fair, I was already on my way out of the relationship but that was definitely the breaking point for me.
Morayo
He looked almost identical to one wicked teacher that tormented me in secondary school. I tried to ignore it at first, but I couldn’t. The relationship ended after three months.
Ope
He ate too much. That one on its own wasn’t even a problem, but every time I was eating, he’d start begging for my food. Like, he’d finish his own and still beg for my own again. The thing used to frustrate me.
Faith
I didn’t like his sister. She was my senior in secondary school, and she used to punish me all the time. We broke up shortly after I found out. I didn’t want anything to do with a family that could have that kind of witch.
Anjola
When we met, he had a beautiful beard. Then on our third date, he came to pick me up with a clean-shaven face. It was like I was looking at another person. I stopped picking his calls after that date.
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