There are some statements that only make sense to Nigerians, you’d think that would make someone finally make a Nigerian dictionary but no. Here are 8 of those statements.
1. Upstanding
How? How will someone be upstanding? If you are up, you are standing. Choose one. Nigerian pastors love to use this word a lot “Dearest congregation, let us be upstanding as we welcome the guest pastor” you people make me tired.
2. Come and be going
Why do you want me to come before I can go? I’d like to know how this even became a thing. Because it should not make sense at all but it does. Who started this? Show yourself, you need beating.
3. Not on seat
If you watch a lot of old Nigerian films or you are constantly going to look for that uncle that promised you a job, you must be familiar with this statement that only makes sense to Nigerians. Why can’t we just say that the person isn’t available or isn’t around?
4. Ember month
Since we are close to September I have to add this. We get it, bad things somehow manage to happen a lot at that time of the year but you people decided to give it a name? Doesn’t the bible say something about naming things and giving them life?
5. Barbing salon
You know what? I get it. Some of the atrocities committed in the salon will make you want to insult and degrade it like this too. Maybe when your barber learns how to give you the haircut you asked for, you can call it a barbershop.
6. Dress back
Again, how? How do I dress back? Why does dress mean move? How did that happen? Anyways, if you like, don’t dress back when an elderly woman asks you to, you and your generation will receive the insult of your life.
7. Next tomorrow
Of all the statements that only make sense to Nigerians, this is the most unnecessary. What does “next tomorrow” mean? Why can’t we just mention the day of the week or date?
8. Trafficate
You don’t even need to own a car to know this word in this country. This word is used to describe a situation where a driver indicates to other drivers that they want to take a turn. It has become so normalized that Nigerians don’t know that we are the only ones that use this word.
