Everyone who grew up in a Nigerian home would agree that it was a wild ride. Nigerian parents are a rare breed, and it’s almost as though every one of them went to the same training school. They were the central characters in the house and they were fun for the most part, but there were also times when they couldn’t help but do the most.
This is a list of some of the times it wasn’t fun to be the child in a Nigerian home:
Every morning when they wake up at 5 am for morning devotion
“The devil doesn’t sleep, so why should you?”
When they won’t allow you to sleep in on weekends because, chores
“We’re paying your school fees and taking care of you; the least you could do is to be useful”
When your mum comes home and you haven’t washed the plates
“You will tell me if I’m your mother or your slave.”
When you’re washing the dishes and you break a cup or a plate
“I didn’t ask for a destructive child. Do you think I bought these with stones?”
When they’re talking to you and you ‘mistakenly’ talk back
“So you want to beat, abi? Oya beat me nah”
When you’re at a family event and they start introducing you to everyone
“Won’t you greet big mummy? She was around on your naming ceremony.”
When you spend hours at the market because your mum ridiculously haggles everything
“#3000 for this small meat? Can’t you sell it for #500?”
When they catch you taking a piece of meat from the pot
“We’re not raising you to be a thief. I will kill you before you take this behaviour outside and disgrace the family.”
When you lock yourself in your room after an argument
“Open this door now! I’m your mother and I will always tell you the truth.”
