A Nollywood Love Story In Seven Acts

Act One: You fall in love.

You fall head over heels, blindly in love. Like the way, Suara loved Toyin Tomato. The girl must be out of your league and you must move heaven and earth to please her. You must also be broke and penniless, because what good love story starts with a man who has money?

Act Two: The chase begins.

Even if you don’t have a kobo to your name. You chase this girl relentlessly. It has been written in the stars that you must end up with this girl. Your pastor has ordained it. The both of you must marry even if you are broke.

Act Three: You get the girl.

After a lot of convincing. Including promises of expensive clothes and luxury cars, you get the girl. And even though you are barely making enough to put a roof over both your heads, she must not work. Either because you as the head of the home has mandated it, or because she’s a ‘slay queen’ who has refused to work. A fact you were aware of when you were chasing her.

Act Four: The suffering starts.

Nothing prepares you to the levels of poverty you descend into after meeting the girl. You become even broker than before you met her. You are unable to take care of the both of you. But you love her and you expect the both of you to survive on love alone.

She starts to whine and complain about the fact that there’s no food and your landlord has been harassing you both for months. You can’t understand what she’s complaining about. The most important thing is that you love her. And even though she can’t afford to eat everyday now, when she was eating three square meals in her father’s house you expect her to persevere.

Act Five: She leaves you for someone wealthier.

After all the love you had to give in words only, she leaves you, for someone wealthier but who is also innately a bad person, just because he’s wealthier than you. They seem to have gotten their happily ever after. You see her living her best life. Driving the flashy cars and wearing the expensive clothes you promised her. But her joy will be short lived and suffering is inevitable because she left you for someone better.

Act Six: Suddenly your luck turns.

You meet an ‘Uncle’ who suddenly remembers he owes you a favour. He invest millions of Naira in your business and suddenly your luck turns over night. In a month, you are suddenly able to afford a G Wagon and a ten- bedroom house. Even though you only had two shirts to your name just the month before.

Act Seven: Then her luck turns.

Former bae’s new lover turns out to be a domestic abuser, cheater and spiritualist. She suffers in unimaginable ways. Even morethan you ever did. And it’s all deserved because she dared to leave you for someone better.

She comes back to beg for your mercy. But it’s too late you’ve met a humble, God-fearing woman, who does whatever you say and is raising your five children while you travel for months on end on ‘business’.

The End. To God Be The Glory.