Okay fine, you’re bored and stuck at home. No one’s going to see those cute outfits you ordered last minute on ASOS anytime soon, so you’re showing out on every brush transition challenge on social media. You can’t wait for the quarantine to end. We get it, these are tough times.
That said, that’s a whole lot of ‘you’ with not nearly enough thought spared for others around also going through it. Take the animals for instance – and no I’m not talking about this Yoruba demons usually on the prowl during wedding after-parties.
The cows, dogs, cats and all our other four-legged friends who, unlike us who have the coronavirus (and for nuttier people, 5G) to explain away life’s sudden changes, they’re probably wondering where everyone went.
Because we’re a truly representative government, we present to you, animal rights in the time of quarantine.
Chickens.
Where’s my audience? Who’s going to watch me attempt suicide to cross to the other side? This nuh make sense.
Birds
Why can I suddenly hear you guys so clearly? Does the air taste different to y’all? Cleaner somehow?
House cats
Feed me and see yourself out of the house somehow. I get claustrophobic when you’re too close.
Dogs
Let’s go outside and play! What do you mean you don’t want to die?
Peacocks
I’m putting on a show
I’m showing out. Why isn’t anyone around to do an Instalive of this? Where’s everyone?
Cows
I hate it here
Dinosaurs
Did the meteor? … I heard it was just in Akure.. I kind of liked the humans. Self-destructive, but they drew us really well in their cartoons. Sigh.
How do you think the animals are handling all the emptiness on the streets?
