If you think this year was hard for you, imagine how hard it was for these trends. Nigerians didn’t just follow them, they became them. And this December, we’re pleading to you to let them rest, IJN.
Corset dresses
Not every owambe, corset. O wrong nau. When the trend started, we loved it. But after Nigerian women turned it into a competition of who could hold their breath the longest, we had to tap out. In 2023, please, let that tummy roam free.
Baby hair on frontals
Except you come from a line of “werey-wolves”, you have no business having so much hair on your edges. Your adult baby hair looks like squirmy worms on your forehead.
Crocs
We love crocs as much as the next guy. But when you start wearing them with dinner dresses, you need an intervention. So use this December to wear all your crocs, clogs and floater-type contraptions out of your system. We’re doing better next year.
Y2k fashion
The short skirts, black-lined lips, sheer clothing and denim everything should be left in 2022. They were fun for a bit, but if we’re trying to move forward as a nation, we need to leave things of the past in the past.
BBL
Body positivity, this year and forever. But we’re positive the illegal, behind-dark-alleys-type Brazilian butt lifts people are getting now will do more harm than good. Remember, no one ever died for having a small booty.
Skinny jeans
Out with the old; in with the new. Skinny jeans have had a nice run. They need a break. We wonder why you’d choose skinny jeans — that leave marks on your body after you take them off — over mum jeans, bootleg jeans, or low-waist jeans like the rest of us fast-forward people are already doing.
Biker shorts
It gives undergarments with a touch of sports. From the name sef, you should know these shorts are for bikers, so tell us who told you people it was okay to wear them outside. Some people wear it to the market, movies, parties and church. Break free from its shackles, please.
High socks
We doubt knee-high socks were even cool anywhere past SS 1, so why have you decided to die on their matter now? The only time you’re allowed to wear them is when you’re going for march-past.
Apoche
The reign of velvet dresses should have ended in 2020, in my opinion. If you’re among people still “rocking” it in 2022, we love it for you, but we’d like to see more range.
Loop earrings
We understand your need to be minimalist, but can you do it with more style? In a time of acrylic and pearl accessories, your favourite loops look pretty boring. If you don’t want us to fight you, you better fix up. Because why settle for anything less than the main character position?
QUIZ: You Should Be Left in 2022 if You Can’t Get 7/12 on This Quiz
