If there’s anything Nigerians pride themselves in, it’s the ability to ‘tear eye’ and not be taken for a ride. But sometimes, things happen, and you realise you’ve been lied to, scammed, hoodwinked, bamboozled.
The truth is, with these ten things, you’re not the bad guy you think you are. Someone is using you and your money to catch serious cruise.
Bubu, the bad boy
Number one on the list. Because why is the president of an entire nation going up and down, cosplaying Ajala the traveller? Why is big daddy B giving us snapchat filtered money instead of the better economy he promised?
Paying VAT at restaurants
They say it’s value-added tax, but value added to what and why?
The new naira notes
A moment of silence for the old naira notes, please. They’ll be sorely missed. Now, to these powerpuff girls notes Meffy baby decided to make. No redesign, no nothing, just colouring pencil and vibes of the highest order.
Bank charges
It doesn’t matter if the charges are for ATM card maintenance or SMS, or simply moving your money around a bit. Your bank charging you ₦50 now and again cannot be normal.
Health insurance
Yes, you’re insuring your health, but what does that really mean? You’re basically placing a bet and playing 2-odds every month. Will I fall sick? Will I not fall sick?
Lagos nightlife
Between the overpriced everything and the unnecessary body contact in this Rona’s era, it’s too much of a high risk, low reward. Yes, you had a good-ass time, but now, you’re clutching your head from a hangover, red account balance and that loud-ass music, and for what?
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Chapman at restaurants
Honestly, all the drinks at restaurants are scams, but the Chapman has to be the worst. ₦3k – ₦5k on a cup filled with ice, a quarter of a lemon and a ₦150 bottle of Chapman? Is my daddy Dangote?
Instagram ‘thrift’ stores
It’s the rebrand for us because why do we have to fork out ₦3k and above for one okrika dress?
The price of bras
You didn’t ask your titties to titty the way they do. Even if you did, why do you have to pay with your blood and sweat just to buy a bra that loves them the way it’s supposed to?
Weddings
We should abolish weddings. You have to pay extra for regular makeup and gele because you’re getting married? Then you’ll still entertain your guests by dancing like you’re at a children’s party? Absolutely not.
