With the end of January comes the dreaded “Where is your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner” storm for the next two weeks. Why is love so stressful now? The tension from sliding into DMs, the unending possibilities of chopping breakfast. It made me start thinking: the days of “Ama keep keep” shirts, peace signs and Supras ruled. And so I want to take us back for a moment — maybe the young ones will learn a thing or two from this.
1. 2go
Tinder and Bumble are still learning work. Back in the day, 2go was all you needed on your Nokia C3 to connect with the love of your life. Babes only needed to have sexy or queen in their usernames: “Sexychocolatemama33” or “Dynamicqueen231” and your request section would be filled up.
2. Lyric books
Naeto C probably bagged his premium pie, Nicole, with the lines from this book. Are you a millennial if you didn’t send one of those emotionally powerful notes to your crush as a good morning text? Lyric books literally gave 101 ways to keep your ship moving back then. Someone needs to run an upgrade because the good morning texts these days are week AF.
3. Summer lesson
Look, I’m not saying we didn’t go there to read, but what is life without a bit of balance? The summer lesson gist when school resumed was always fire.
4. JAMB Lesson
All I can say is, sometimes, it wasn’t JAMB that jammed us, it was the lover we were chasing that didn’t allow us to see road to read. Everyone wanted to be that couple that found themselves and strolled to buy food in between classes. I hope they finally passed JAMB and married sha.
5. Secondary school
Remember how boys used to jump the fence to give babes gala and yogurt during prep? Simpler times. Then there was that wicked senior that would flog you then leave a note professing foolish love, but of course, they didn’t born you well to tell anybody. Rumour has it that this is how BDSM was invented.
6. Visiting day in school
This one is for the boarding school students. Visiting day meant eating food other than the trash in school, but it was also a national day for finding love. It definitely wasn’t because of cornflakes or milo you said yes to that student in your dorm.
7. Sunday School
Any church that had a basement was a zone for lovers forteenagers. All the bible they used to teach was entering one ear and coming out another hole.
8. BBM
It always started with “how did you get my pin.” Next thing, you’re pinging all night and then planning to meet at Mr. Biggs for meat pie. Like they say, the rest is history.
