9-5ers have had a blast these last few months, but the joy is fading because there are no more public holidays until October 1st. It’s about to be every day labour, every day slavery, for the next THREE months.
But that’s where we come in. Here’s how you can get that off day you may or may not deserve.
Add your HR officer on WhatsApp
It’s called setting the groundwork. Tweak your privacy settings to allow them to view your status, and start posting work-related content. Somewhere in there, add lamentations about your health struggles, real or imagined. HR is sure to grant you a day off the next day.
Love-bomb your grandparents on WhatsApp
Your HR and employers are still on your WhatsApp, but instead of work-related content, flood your status with content about your aged grandparents. When you ask for that off-day to check on Grandma Ikorodu, the groundwork you’ve done will be enough to get it approved.
Attempt a Guinness World Record
It’s the in-thing at the moment and you can use it to your advantage. The key is to let your employers know they’ll get free exposure while you’re trying to break a record. You can ask for a two-week leave to prepare. Whether it’s paid or not is your own cup of tea but you’ll get your holiday sha.
Get pregnant
No employer wants a pregnant woman and her unborn child’s blood on their hands. You won’t only get off days, you’ll also have your maternity leave allowance to enjoy. Note: This is strictly for women.
Borrow money from a loan shark
Make sure you fill your office address in the form. If the loan agents storm the office twice, your employers will just tell you stay at home permanently. The holiday you truly deserve.
