Listen, you need to assert independence with Nigerian parents or they will never let you live the life you’re destined to live. If you want to let them know that you have grown wings, follow our advice and claim your independence.
1. Start small: Come home late.
If you have a curfew, go past it. Maybe once a week at first, and then two times, and finally four times in a row. First, they will complain. And then complain further. Finally, they will keep quiet. You’re becoming a bad bitch.
2. Go further: Don’t sleep at home.
They should have known that it was bound to happen. After all, you’ve gone past your curfew consecutively. When you go back home, they’ll likely ask you to return to where you’re coming from. Don’t answer them. Don’t go anywhere. Stand and look at them. Ehen, what will they do? Will they beat you?
3. Go even further: Dye your hair.
This one will be revealed by surprise. First tie scarf around the house. They will think you have changed your ways. And then one day when they have guests, remove the scarf and show them your purple or gold hair. Let shock catch them. They kuku cannot start commanding you in front of visitors. You that you’re an intern bad bitch.
4. Ascend: Get a tattoo.
You know what’s even badder? When you use their money. Say, they gave you school fees or money to buy their medications. Or even money to cook soup. Imagine the scenario:
Your parents:
You: Yes? (chewing gum)
Your mother: What happened to the soup we said you should cook?
You: I’ve used the money to draw tattoo oh.
It’s shout they will shout. Last-last, they will give you another money to cook soup.
5. Reign supreme: Turn the living room to a night club.
What is bad in that? Is it not you that will still inherit the house?
6. Confront them: Tell them that you have no plans to marry.
Or give birth to children for that matter. If they ask you why, tell them that you’re not for that life. This is how you should say it:
“I’m a happening babe, please. Don’t stress me. If you want grandchildren, adopt.”
They’ll probably disown you after everything, but don’t panic. You be bad bitch. Bad bitch no dey panic.
