So you just discovered on TikTok that all the totally normal behaviours you have are people-pleasing characteristics. It turns out you’re just not that nice for niceness sake; and even your willingness to always let things slide is a trauma response. Thank you, TikTok, for the diagnosis!
Here’s how to say no as a people pleaser.
You have to practise passive assertiveness
Your body language should say no before opening your mouth to say yes. The next time a friend or coworker comes to ask you for something at your inconvenience, stand like this:
RELATED: How to Successfully Teleport the Food From Your Dream to Real Life
If that doesn’t work, just close your eyes
If you can’t see the face of the person trying to inconvenience you, you’re less likely to want to help them.
Walk away as fast as you can
If they can’t catch you, they can’t ask you to do anything for them.
Tap into your inner toddler and start reporting everybody
Snitches get stitches, but sometimes it’s necessary to snitch before you faint from exhaustion. Shout “I will report you oh” like a toddler who discovered the word “no”.
Tape your mouth shut and glue your hands to your sides.
If your mouth is closed, everyone will take your silence as no, and if your hands are glued to your sides, you can’t shrug and say yes. When they see you trying to enforce boundaries like this, they’ll leave you alone.
Buy a big placard with the word “NO” written boldly
You can wear it on your neck or carry it in a bag. Next time your roommate asks you if they can eat the cake you’ve been saving for later, just bring the placard out. Or if your boss tries to give you more work than you can handle, you know what to do.
Chant “no” to yourself in the mirror every morning
There’s nothing as effective as using the actual word itself being used as an affirmation. Try to say it with a smile, so they know that if they keep pushing, they’re about to see crazy. When the conductor asks for his change, say no. When the food delivery people ask for their money, tell them no. Go forth and succeed.
