As told to Kunle Ologunro
TW: Sexual harassment
I am not the kind of person to participate in group sex. It’s not my thing. I prefer a one-on-one session with my partner. But then I met *Joshua on a dating app.
We planned to hook up on a Tuesday evening. He’d said he was having a threesome later that night but was still down to have sex with me in the evening. I was surprised, but I went to his house in Lekki. When I got there, he told me that one of his threesome partners was en route, and we could wait for him to have our own threesome. It sounded interesting, so I waited. That’s how I had my first threesome in Lagos.
After that day, Joshua and I exchanged numbers and became cordial, and he became my threesome plug.
The Friday night when the fivesome happened, I had gone to Joshua’s house for a threesome. I got there around 10 p.m., and we went on a dating app in search of a third party for our threesome. We sent messages to some people on the dating app but didn’t get any response. Eventually, Joshua asked one of his friends who lived nearby to come over. He agreed. While he was on his way, one of the people we texted on the app responded. He said he was down for a threesome and wanted us to come over to his house in Victoria Island.
We would have gone to his house, but Joshua’s friend was already on his way to us, and there was no way we could leave for Victoria Island without seeing the friend first. Besides, it was already almost midnight, and we didn’t want to move around Lagos anyhow — we didn’t drive.
The Victoria Island guy offered to come pick us up, but we declined. We told him we had already found someone and the person was on his way over. We should have stopped texting him at this point; Joshua tried to stop, in fact, but I told him to continue the conversation just so we would see where it would lead. It was supposed to be harmless.
After we exchanged photos, the Victoria Island guy said he also had a friend over at his house and they, too, were looking for a partner. He said they didn’t mind coming over to the house, and after thinking about it, Joshua and I sent the address. In less than 20 minutes, they were already at our flat.
Now, this is where you should take note of the people involved so you don’t get things twisted.
There’s me.
And then there’s my friend, Joshua.
Then there’s Joshua’s friend who lived nearby. Let’s call him TY.
Now, include Victoria Island guy. Let’s call him Emmanuel.
And then add his friend. Let’s call him Ifeanyi.
At a gathering of gay men in Lagos; someone has probably slept with someone before. It turned out the Victoria Island guy (Emmanuel) knew Joshua’s friend (TY). When they came in and saw each other, they did a cordial greeting and went straight to kissing.
And this was the start of my problems. I wanted to kiss Emmanuel because he was attractive. I wasn’t attracted to Joshua’s friend TY at all. Next thing, Victoria Island guy’s friend (Ifeanyi) started kissing Joshua, and so I was left stranded. All the parties in the threesome were kissing each other and I was by myself, looking askance. After so much kissing had gone on, they decided to make room for me.
I should add that TY became available to kiss at some point, but because I wasn’t attracted to him, I kept moving away so he wouldn’t come close. Each time he drew near, I drew backwards or found someone’s body part to occupy me. It was weird.
Soon, space freed up for me to kiss Emmanuel, but when I came close to him, he bent his head all the way back, almost like a gymnast. It seemed weird at first until I realised he didn’t want to kiss me.
In this whole arrangement, I should mention the sexual roles played by everybody. I am a top, as well as the three other guys: Emmanuel, TY, and Ifeanyi. Only Joshua was bottom, and if we were fair, this seemed a bit unbalanced. A better equation would be three tops and two bottoms or people who could switch from top to bottom. I could have bottomed, but I wasn’t prepared for it. When I came for the threesome, my plan was to top. One top and two bottoms.
But back to this fivesome.
After several minutes of kissing, sucking and playing around, the sex began. Emmanuel bent Joshua over, lubed him up and penetrated him. And I had never seen anything scarier all my life. How do I describe it? Emmanuel was so aggressive with his thrusts. Even pornstars don’t behave like that. And as though his rough thrusts were not enough, he added very loud slaps to the mix. He would thrust very fast, then slap Joshua’s butt so hard, it resounded across the apartment. When I heard the first slap, I panicked. I wanted to ask Joshua if he was okay because I did not understand how anyone would genuinely enjoy such a violent act.
***
We took turns. After Emmanuel pulled out, I went next. Then TY, and then Ifeanyi. I don’t think Ifeanyi was really into it. He penetrated briefly and then pulled out. At this point, nobody had climaxed yet. The main focus seemed to be on pleasuring each other.
Because we had just one person bottoming and no other person willing to take dick at that time, people started fucking each other’s thighs. I would have bottomed too, at least to ease the workload of the bottom, but I debated it.
And then, Emmanuel came to me, wanting to fuck my thigh. I wanted to say no, but he was horribly persistent, so I allowed him. He had a condom on and it was dark, so I let him do his thing.
Soon enough, he started begging me to let him put his dick in me. I said no. I wasn’t prepared to bottom and did not want to stain anywhere, but he was persistent. After a long while of incessant begging, I agreed.
He penetrated. About five thrusts in, I noticed something was off, so I asked him if he was wearing a condom. He said yes. That didn’t reassure me. I don’t trust men, certainly not in this setting where we were meeting for the first time. Men lie a lot, and when sex is involved, the lies take on new dimensions.
So I tried to feel his dick for the condom. He moved my hand away and asked what I was trying to do.
“I’m checking for the condom you said you are wearing,” I said.
He hesitated, and so I pushed him out of me. Lo and behold, he had no condom on.
“Where’s the condom you said you had on?” I said.
To see Emmanuel penetrate me without a condom and still lie about it made me very upset. I felt violated, lied to. I am on Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) but I don’t have raw sex with people, especially Lagos men. I mean, I don’t know where your dick has been, so don’t give me something I won’t be able to account for. I use condoms for a number of reasons. One, I am very sexually active. Two, I like to have sex with people and forget about them. When you have sex without condoms, you are plagued with anxiety about your partner’s health status. I don’t want that kind of anxiety.
“Guy, what is the meaning of this rubbish?” I demanded. “Why did you fuck me raw and still lie about it? Why would you do that kind of thing?” I was agitated at this point. Right there, I took my phone and set a calendar reminder to get tested in two weeks time.
Emmanuel lied. He said he was wearing one, and that it probably fell off somewhere.
Fell off where? Is this guy mad?
I threw a fit. I turned on the lights and told everyone to stop fucking, immediately.
“Oya, oya, all of you start wearing your clothes. This thing is over. Pack it up and go home. Now!”
It wasn’t my house, but if I was being violated that way, surely I had a major say. Everyone looked surprised, but I wasn’t backing down.
Now, here’s the most surprising thing. While I was throwing this fit and becoming agitated by the lie told by Emmanuel, my friend, Joshua said nothing, did nothing to show that he was on my side. I know he wasn’t my friend in the true sense of the word; we met about two sex appointments ago, but I still expected him to say or do something to show that he was on my side and was annoyed by Emmanuel’s actions. But he did nothing. I did not know how to feel about that.
Emmanuel continued to lie. He told everyone that he didn’t know he was not wearing a condom, and that when he realised, he pulled out immediately.
EXCUSE ME? Guy, you were not wearing a condom!
But no matter. The sex that everyone had was enough.
They got dressed and started leaving. At the door, Emmanuel tried to shake my hands as though everything was normal.
“Fuck off,” I said.
That was when TY stepped in to stop any budding conflict.
“Emmanuel was just trying to make peace,” TY said.
But I was not having it. I kept my hands to my sides until they exited the house and I was left alone with Joshua.
“Why didn’t you speak up when I told everyone what Emmanuel did?” I asked Joshua after everyone had left.
His reason was that he had been in situations and heard stories where people having an orgy would get into a fight and throw fists and everything would get so messy, and he was trying to avoid that.
“It’s not that I didn’t want to speak up,” he said. “But you know we are gay people. If the whole thing escalates, someone might call the police and you and I both know where that can lead.”
At that moment, I understood why he chose silence.
“Do you still want to fuck?” Joshua asked later when I calmed down.
“Yes,” I said. “I still want my nut.”
We had sex and we came. Two weeks later, I went to get tested and I was negative for any disease.
It was an interesting experience, and I do want to have sex with more people. After that time, I have done a foursome with Joshua, and I am open to more. Lagos can make you do things; that’s the conclusion of the matter.
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