Life is good. Life has its perks sometimes, despite all its (very many) bumps. However, you might, for any reason, decide that you’re tired of life and living. Especially if you’re living with Nigerian parents. Do any of these and you’re assured of a speedy dispatch to the afterlife. You’re welcome.

1. Put it on your mother’s head

You know how your mother says “put it on my head” when you ask where to put something? Try putting it on her head, for once. Let us know how it goes.

40+ Best Nigerian Quotes images | nigerian quotes, african memes, african  jokes

2. Rub your father’s bald head

You know how they say rubbing a bald head brings good luck? You can decide to rub your popsy’s shiny head. You can add a light tap, if you’re feeling extra. Do let us know which hospital you end up in.

Mozambique police warn bald men after ritual attack - BBC News

3. Tell your father you hate him and walk out 

Just like in American movies. You think you can pull it off? Go for it.

Mad Walking Out GIF by The Maury Show

4. Don’t bring out the soup from the freezer

How to care for your refrigerator | The Guardian Nigeria News - Nigeria and  World NewsSaturday Magazine — The Guardian Nigeria News – Nigeria and World  News

Just know you’re finished.

5. Defend yourself from beating

African Parents Are Lazy Disciplinarians – Believe. Aspire. Experience.

“So you want to beat your mother abi?”

One year ago, we left Nigeria for an 80-day adventure across West Africa. Something is coming. Unshared stories. New perspectives. Limited series. 10 episodes. Jollofroad.com

OUR MISSION

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.