(Zikoko arrives at 5pm, sweating profusely after waiting all day for this interview)
Zikoko: Good evening sir (Gives the Nigerian nod of respect). I’ve been waiting outside since 7 am.
Ikoyi Registry: Sorry, that was the 200th couple this week.
Zikoko: Mad o
Ikoyi Registry: It’s crazy. So, how can I help you?
Zikoko: We’ve been looking for you so we can talk about the scarcity of appointment dates but you’re more unavailable than Davido. What’s going on?
Ikoyi Registry: Nigerians won’t let me rest.
Zikoko: What did they do?
Ikoyi Registry: They want to kill me with work. Wedding every single day. Don’t you people get tired? Because I am o.
Zikoko: You’re meant to join people together, not put asunder. You have no choice in this matter, dear.
Ikoyi Registry: You can’t tell me what to do
Zikoko: Oya, what do you want to do?
Ikoyi Registry: Why are you people always getting married? Even as you’re always at each other’s neck on the internet.
Zikoko: Of course, we are. Lagos men are trash.
Ikoyi Registry: My records say otherwise.
Zikoko: That’s your problem. What are you going to do about how hard it is to book appointments with you? Do something and do it fast, please.
Ikoyi Registry: I’m not doing anything. I just want to retire. Two needs to stop becoming one every day.
Zikoko: That’s none of your business now, what’s your purpose for existing again?
Ikoyi Registry: So, I should come and die?
Zikoko: Oya calm down. What do you want people to do? They shouldn’t get married again?
Ikoyi Registry: Tone it down a little. Or plan it amongst yourselves and try not to kill me with work. I have my own relationships too.
Zikoko: With who, Nigeria?
Ikoyi Registry: Get out of my office. Security!
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