Interview With… is a Zikoko weekly series that explores the weird and interesting lives of inanimate objects and non-human entities.
BBNaija IS BACK! This new season is already brimming with drama and we wanted to get the full scoop, so we reached out to the only person who could supply it: THE BBNAIJA EYE!
On today’s episode of Interview With, we spoke with the BBNaija Eye about the new season of the BBNaija show and the level of chaos that is bound to come.
Zikoko: Ah, we meet again.
BBNaija Eye: Is that the proper way to greet?
What in the Nigerian mother is this response?
Is that what I asked you?
Ah, sorry oh. Good afternoon, boss.
Very good. Now, proceed with your questions.
I—
You what?
Sorry, but where did this new found confidence come from?
[BBNaija Eye blinks and re-adjusts sitting position]
I’m asking because the last time I interviewed you, you were…
A little reserved?
YES!
Well now, I don shine my eye. And I really think you need to do that too. Shine ya eye. Streets are tough, and you’ve got to be tough too.
Hian. This one you are giving advice. Maybe save it for the housemates? I’m sure they need it more.
Those ones don’t know what they have signed up for oh. Leave them, let them be flexing. Biggie will soon assign them something that will set their head straight. Right now, they are eating and dining with the wildcards without even knowing.
But how could they know?
Isn’t that the point of the game? Let’s see if they will shine their eyes enough to identify who is for them and who isn’t.
Hmm. No wonder you picked fine people to be the wildcards…
Keep quiet.
I’m sorry?
Sorry for yourself. Take a good look at the housemates and tell me which one of them is not a spec. Every housemate in that house is a spec.
Hmm…
Say what you want to say, don’t be doing hmmm up and down.
Do you really think those men are a spec?
Yes. Did you not see how they broke the internet when they were being introduced? Boma and his chest; Emmanuel with the face; Niyi with the height; White Money, our very own Obi Cubana…
Scenes where Big Brother misbehaves and WhiteMoney shuts him up with a bundle of cash…
Pardon?
I said Big Brother carried eye to the market.
Yes na. What am I doing that I will not follow Big Brother to the market? These housemates drip glory. They are nobody’s ex—
By the time the house ends, they will be somebody’s ex, whether they like it or not.
That one is not my problem na. They should shine their eyes and pick someone that will not break up with them, simple as ABC.
But the men are falling our hands, sha.
What did they do?
What did they not do?
Is this about the panties and the silent prank?
See ehn!
I am already seeing, don’t tell me to see again.
No, I meant—
I get what you mean. And even me I am as surprised as you are. A bunch of grown men wearing panties on their head and doing “Shhh” to women who should enjoy their time in the house. Like, what was the reason?
And they came in with so much fierceness. Men of timber and calibre. It’s too sad to see them stoop that low to play such a prank.
Ah, good to see you are taking note too.
I wish they would shine their eyes more, sha. Like, there are two wildcards in the house with them, and I don’t think these people are doing anything to find out their identities. Like, there is an impostor among you. Arise and find them, don’t waste my money!
Oh, they are rising up to other things, believe me.
Like what?
It’s literally your territory, BBNaija Eye. Am I supposed to tell you what you already know?
Oh, oh, oh. You mean the shippers?
YES!
See, those ships will sink. First week in the house and these people are finding love? Surely you know it can’t go far. But let it not be that I’m prophesying doom.
Hmm. Oya, tell us a secret.
Which secret?
Who is your favourite housemate?
Does a mother reveal her favourite child? Instead of you to ask me who will be evicted, or whether the wildcards will be discovered, you are asking me to do pick me.
No nau. I was just…
Just focusing on the wrong things? I get it.
Okay, tell us who will be evicted.
And you seriously think I will open my mouth and say that? Clearly, you don’t know me. Anyway, let me be going. I want to go and see what those housemates are doing.
Must you go?
Okay then, entertain me.
Entertain you with what? Be going please.
Good. Just expect premium vawulence. Cause that’s what’s sure to happen this weekend.
[BBNaija Eye blinks conspiratorially].
How would you like to become a millionaire from just rooting for a #BBNaija housemate to win? Well, here is your chance! Lock-In on your favorite housemate on the MyDStv or MyGOtv app before August 2, 2021 for a chance to join the millionaire club!
Check back every Friday by 9AM for new Interview With episodes. To read previous stories, click here.
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