Apple has broken the internet again, and this time, it’s not because they teased the 78th iPhone upgrade. They unveiled Vision Pro; an augmented reality 3D headset that’s bound to put people’s bank accounts on life support when it eventually hits the market.
But what if Apple launches it in Nigeria first? Here’s what we think will happen.
Fresh material for our parents’ WhatsApp BCs
The moment it hits the market, you’ll start seeing BCs about how augmented reality is actually affecting your brain. Our parents never even let us sit too close to the TV, you now want to put it right “inside” your eyes? It won’t work.
And the Nigerian police
If every iPhone user is a potential yahoo boy in the eyes of the Nigerian police, it means someone who can afford a ₦2.6 million+ headset is a ritual killer. In summary, prepare to be stopped by police if you wear it out.
People will start making TikToks with it
Your faves would start pushing “unbox my new Apple Vision Pro with me” and “test my new headset” content down our throats. Where una dey see this money?
Baddies will turn it into a fashion statement
You know how iPhone users constantly try to choke us with mirror selfies? It’d be nothing compared to what rich kids and baddies will use our eyes to see when they lay hands on this headset—going to buy bread? Vision Pro. Going to braid hair? Vision Pro.
Users will start adorning it with chains and padlocks
People already steal airpods and snatch wigs. Is it this one they won’t steal? To avoid stories of, “They snatched my Vision Pro in Balogun Market”, Nigerians would start securing theirs to their head with chains and padlocks.
The Nigerian version will hit the streets
It’s not piracy, it’s just creativity. Why spend ₦2.6 million+ on Vision Pro when you can get “Vison Por” with ₦30k?
It’ll turn to owambe souvenir
Because everyone knows there’s nothing Yoruba people won’t share in the name of owambe souvenir. If they can share fuel during fuel scarcity, what is Vision Pro?
People will eventually abandon it at home
Because where are we even going to see the light or fuel to even charge it?
NEXT READ: 7 Things You Should Know About the Apple Vision Pro AR/VR Headset
