A lot of men were first introduced to sex via pornography. Many of the depictions are either unreal or downright painful. And sometimes, a failure to achieve some of these “sexual feats” leaves many men feeling inadequate.
In a bid to make men’s sexual relationships more fulfilling, and by extension make sex enjoyable for their partners, I spoke to a couple of Nigerian women. Here are some of the things men copy from porn that women say are unrealistic/unnecessary:
1) Softly softly please.
“The acrobatics women do in porn are not feasible in reality. Please, don’t break my leg and neck. God no go shame us. One time, I had a muscle pull during sex and you know what? Never again. But for that one, after all the shouting, we still continued.”
2) Stop expecting moans.
“Moaning is not a default activity. Moan when it’s good. Those idiots in porn open the door and start moaning. No be so e take be. Moaning should be a communication tool, not a default something. Use it as feedback. Besides, not everyone is comfortable with making noises during sex.”
3) Do your best and leave the rest.
“Stop trying to make me squirt. It’s not everyone that has that ability. Besides, I found out that porn stars put a pipe down there that releases the stream. Pls and pls.”
4) PSA:
“One thing that is universal for every man, even one that has “mastered your body” is that they tend to change the rhythm (slamming and going faster) than they should because the partner seems to be enjoying it.
Friendly advice: Just maintain the pace.”
5) Please, jot this down.
“Men want the ass to clap and flap. It’s aesthetics. Just because female pornstars perform the ass clapping and waist whining while having sex, it doesn’t mean we can just do it too. Some man will just expect your waist to start whining in a doggy position forgetting that there’s work to be done by both parties.”
6) Extremely important.
“Except for women that enjoy rough sex, smacking the butt and yanking her head out will only cause her to use a strong painkiller.”
7) Oh. Wow.
“Porn because of how short it is skips foreplay. Also, the pornstars are on drugs. So, your partner just kisses neck and shoulders and bam off pant, and do the doggy. Whereas the woman needs a breast massage, kisses in a hundred places, fingering, oral stimulation before the actual penetration. Foreplay can be a whole 40mins.”
8) Have you heard?
“You can’t just bring out your dick in the middle of sex and want to try anal. No proper conversation, just trying to surprise me. Ahan.”
9) Real life is different from porn.
“Men assume all women love swallowing cum. From my perspective, I definitely do not. It’s salty and weird tasting and leaves a metallic taste in my mouth that I could do without. I’ve heard some other women say the same.”
10) Fellas, listen.
“Slow Circular motions on the clitoris, don’t flicker like its a light bulb switch.”
