In every Nigerian office, there are a bunch of varying characters, and one of the moments that their differences are truly heightened is when it’s time for lunch. From the ones that only eat snacks to the ones that are street food connoisseur, here are the types of co-workers you see during lunch break.
1. The ones that bring food from home
These ones are the most frustratingly responsible people in the entire office. Once it’s time for lunch, and everyone else is scrambling to find food, they just calmly bring out the meal they smartly prepared at home and pop it right into the microwave.
2. The ones that only eat snacks
You’ve worked with the snackers for many months, but you’ve never seen them eat anything that didn’t come out of a can or sachet. All they seem to know is Pure Bliss and Coke, and even worse: They can eat all that trash without ever gaining weight.
3. The ones that only eat street food
These are the ones that seem to have their stomachs lined with steel. They only ever eat food from the dingiest places they can find. While they swear it tastes great, you know that if you ever join them, it’s food poisoning that will kill you there.
4. The ones that order alone
These ones are the lone rangers of the office. They usually just find a place that they like and order alone. They also always seem to find the most expensive possible joints, almost like they are trying to ensure that no one ever joins them.
5. The ones that behave like vultures
The office vultures never seem content with just eating what they bought. They must taste a little out of everyone else’s food, right from the snacker down to the ones who brought food from home. They are also unable to take “No” for an answer.
6. The ones that always vanish
The vanishers always find a way to disappear once it’s time for lunch, and no one has any idea where they go. Whenever people try to ask, they just give a really vague answer. For all you know, they could be leaving to go eat human flesh.
7. The ones that are probably undead
These are the co-workers that are most likely zombies. Since you’ve been working with them, you’ve never seen them eat ANYTHING. While others are chowing down during lunch, they spend that time either gisting or just continuing with work.
The Group
In every office, there are a bunch of co-workers that band together to order food as a team. Within this group, there are three people you are likely to come across.
8. The one that serves as the project manager
This is the most efficient member of the group. Once it’s time for lunch, they ask everyone what they want, place the orders, collect the money and ensure that everyone gets what they asked for. They are rarely this efficient when it comes to their actual work sha.
9. The one that serves as the timekeeper
This could also be the job of the group’s project manager, but in most cases, the timekeeper is a completely different person. They are the ones that spend most of the morning waiting for lunch, and as soon as it’s time, they are very quick to let everyone know.
10. The one that always wants their complete change
These are the most annoying members of the group because, after the food finally arrives, they hold everyone hostage until their change is complete. They’d rather die than let anyone run away with their N10 – the one they always swear they need for later.