Nigerians love sex. We like to act like we don’t but Mama Nkechi who lives next door has 12 children. But the most hilarious thing about Nigerians and sex is the many ways we’ve learned to describe it without using the word ‘sex’.

Knacks

This one is Nigerians’ favourite.

Mekwe

What does this even really mean?

Kpansh

We have a theory about the origin of this one.

Polash

Bet you’ve never heard this one before.

Straff

Anyone who went to uni in Nigeria knows this one.

Yarnsh

Apparently, this doesn’t mean just bum bum.

Konji

We all know this one sha…”konji na bastard”

Smash

Smash what exactly?

Kpekus

This one will always sound funny to us.

Frap

This one reminds us of  ‘frapas’.

Bone

When I was small I thought this meant just ‘vex’.

Shag

Secondary school students used to feel smart using this word to replace sex.

Did we leave anyone out?

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