1. What everywhere feels like right now:

2. You, drowning in your sweat every single night.

Is this how I will die?

3. When you try to take a cold shower and even the water coming from the tap is hot.

What is this sorcery?

4. When you start sweating the second you step out of the bathroom.

Hay God! Who did I offend?

5. When you realize NEPA chose the hottest time of the year to stop giving us light.

You people are clearly witches.

6. When they manage to bring small light but the fan is just blowing hot air in your face.

See me see trouble.

7. When you go somewhere and they don’t have AC.

Please, I’m going. It is not by force.

8. You, praying for even small rain to fall.

God, please do it for your children.

9. When the heat rashes finally attack.

My back oh.

10. When you start missing the dusty harmattan.

Harmattan, we are sorry we complained.

11. When someone tries to bring up having sex in this heat.

It’s like your ancestors are mad.

12. When you see your fellow strugglers complaining about the heat.

You guys understand.

13. When you see someone wearing plenty clothes.

WOOL IN THIS HEAT??? Clap for yourself.

14. When you have to enter public transport and the body odour slaps you right in the face.

What the hell?

15. When you get stuck in traffic in a car without AC.

I was not born to suffer, biko.

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