1. When you have a baby, ALL your relatives will want to give the child their own official name.
How many names do you want my child to have? Please go away.
2. Having kids means you now have little versions of you that you can send on pointless errands whenever you feel like.
“Segun! Come from upstairs and give me this remote that is two inches away from my hand.”
3. When your child gives you attitude so you have no choice but to whoop their ass.
As a father, channel your inner Jackie Chan. As a mother, channel your inner Charlie’s Angel.
4. But deep down it hurts you to see your child in pain but you know that if you spare the rod, you’ll spoil the child.
My chest.
5. This is you when you find out how much school fees are these days.
HAAAAY!
6. But you want the best for child so you still pay.
Everything I do is for you, my child.
7. When your child does well in school you’ll be like
YAAASS! THAT IS THE SEED OF MY LOINS!!!!
8. This will be you if you find out that your child refuses to learn anything and is failing terribly.
What is happening???
9. When your child becomes a teenager and starts raising shoulder for you.
See this one sha oh.
10. You will be happy to see your child now making friends and learning how to navigate life on their own.
My work is almost done.
11. But then you worry that they might join bad gang.
God pls no.
12. You will also worry that they are now doing “bad thing” so you’ll tell them this.
Also, tell them if they have sex, they’ll die.
Truth is, being a parent has a lot of ups and downs. Just look at this video
If you enjoyed this, read this next article about the Nigerian parent’s guide to sex education.
The Nigerian Parent’s Guide To ‘Sex Education’
