1. When a Nollywood doctor hears that a patient doesn’t have money.
Bye!
2. Nollywood doctors and sleeping with nurses.
In. Every. Movie.
3. When they only check the patient’s temperature and diagnose them with HIV.
Oshey, Doctor Abracadabra!
4. “We’ve run all the tests and we can’t seem to find the problem.”
How will you find it with only stethoscope?
5. When they suggest that the patient goes to see a babalawo.
Just like that? Not even another doctor?
6. When the patient comes in with a broken hand and ends up with a bandaged leg.
Na wa.
7. When they go everywhere with a stethoscope around their neck, just in case we forget their profession.
We know you’re a doctor, biko.
8. When every patient they treat ends up in a coma.
Shouldn’t we be worried?
9. When their answer to everything is “we need to perform a surgery”
Even for malaria.
10. Whenever the patient sees their final bill.
Kill them oh!
11. When they start saying “we tried all we could…”
Na so.
12. How they announce that someone has died:
Wow!
