1. When you’re begging your parents to let your friend come and visit you.
You have to bring PowerPoint presentation to convince them.
2. You, reminding you friend to greet your parents properly.
Better don’t be doing anyhow.
3. How your parents look at them if they come and visit earlier than 12pm:
Chai!
4. How your parents look at them if they are still in your house when it’s dark:
Be going, biko.
5. When your friend doesn’t greet your parents properly and you already know that friendship is over.
Chai! Time to find new friend.
6. How you look at your friend that prostrates to greet your parents:
They will now be comparing both of you forever.
7. When your parents spend half the visit interrogating your friends.
Okay, Mummy FBI, can you go now?
8. When your mother asks “have you offered your friend anything?” and they say no.
See this one. You don’t have food in your house?
9. When your friend of the opposite sex says they want to come to your house.
Abeg oh! I’m not ready to die yet.
10. When your mother offers them food and they reject it.
Hay God!
11. When your friend says “your parents are so nice.”
It’s because you’re here oh.
12. When you make them ask your parents to allow you to go out so they don’t say no.
I sabi, abeg.
13. How your friend looks when your parents start shouting on you in their presence:
Well, this is awkward.
14. When your friend wants to leave your house without telling your parents first.
Better respect yourself.
15. When your parents that were smiling with them start insulting them immediately they leave.
“Don’t bring that idiot to my house again.”
16. When it’s time to go and visit that friend and your parents ask “how many times have they come here?”
Are you serious?
