We live in a society that not only blames victims of rape but also tells potential victims, that it is their duty to make sure they are not sexually assaulted.
“What were you wearing?”
“Did you lead him on?”
“You should have know better than to put yourself in that situation.”
Here’s a prime example I found in the comments section of Linda Ikeji’s blog.
Headline:
Two Sisters Raped By A Gang of Six in Lagos
Comments:
They are basically saying “I’m sorry, but if you didn’t want to get raped, you wouldn’t have been out by 11pm.”
Just to create some perspective for you guys, here is how ridiculous people who victim-blame sound:
“I’m sorry, but if you didn’t want to be burgled, you wouldn’t have owned any property.”
“I’m sorry, but if you didn’t want to be murdered, you would have killed yourself before it happened.”
“I’m sorry, but if you didn’t want to get racially profiled, you wouldn’t have been a person of color.“
“I’m sorry, but if you didn’t want to be kidnapped, you wouldn’t have been born into a rich home.”
“I’m sorry, but if you didn’t want to be hit by a drunk driver, you wouldn’t have gone out.”
“I’m sorry, but if you didn’t want a miscarriage, you wouldn’t have gotten pregnant.”
“I’m sorry, but if you didn’t want to be a widow, you wouldn’t have gotten married.”
“I’m sorry, but if you didn’t want to get hit by a stray bullet, you would have left home in a Kevlar vest.”
“I’m sorry, but if you didn’t want to become an orphan, you would have had immortal parents.”
“I’m sorry, but if you didn’t want to die in a plane crash, you wouldn’t have travelled.”
See how ridiculous it all sounds?
Once we realize that sexual assault can happen to anyone, no matter the time, or what they are wearing, then maybe we can stop wondering what the victim did to ‘deserve it’ and focus on punishing the perpetrator and letting the victim heal.
Images: Giphy