1. When you’re the first in the keke and the driver asks “charter?”

I’ll wait, biko.

2. Keke drivers, when they see you with N1000 note:

Better leave this place.

3. When a fat person enters and starts shouting “SHIFT!”

Please respect yourself.

4. When the 3 passengers at the back are waiting for the last passenger like:

It always takes forever.

5. When the person next to you wants to lap someone.

Inside this small thing?

6. When someone begs you to move to the front seat for them.

Ugh! I don’t want to.

7. You, holding on for dear life when you have to sit at the front.

You’ll now be sitting with half nyansh.

8. When your driver starts dragging road with a trailer.

Oga, have you forgotten what you are driving?

9. You, when the keke enters a pothole with speed.

Are you blind?

10. You, watching cars and okadas speed pass your keke:

They can be slow sha.

11. How you sit at the back when you charter the whole keke:

I’m feeling myself.

12. How kekes manoeuvre through traffic:

BOSS!

13. When rain starts falling and they pull down that their dirty tarpaulin.

It’s even worse when they don’t have at all.

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