1. When you need condoms but none of your friends are around to steal from.
Nawa!
2. You, calculating whether to buy condoms now or free and buy pampers later.
Is the shame worth it?
3. You, praying that the pharmacist is not one middle-aged Nigerian woman.
I don’t need the judgement.
4. When you enter the pharmacy and the place is full of old people.
God forbid.
5. You, pretending to consider other items.
As if it’s not just condom you’re there for.
6. When you see someone from church enter the pharmacy.
Hay God!
7. You, when someone just walks in and shouts “give me gold circle”.
Boss!
8. When you buy things you don’t need just to shift attention from the condoms.
See money I’m wasting.
9. How the pharmacist looks at you if you don’t have a ring on your finger:
See your life.
10. When they are about to give you the “youths of today” speech.
Just don’t, biko.
11. Your face, all through the purchase.
Stop looking at me.
12. When they tell you they don’t have any black nylons.
You people want to expose me.
13. You, after realizing you can never go back to that pharmacy again.
Shame will not allow me.
