1. When your parents tell you that you’re travelling to the village.
Hay God! Why?
2. How your parents wake everybody up by 4am to start getting ready:
Hian! Are we washing the road?
3. When your mother packs the whole kitchen for trip that is just a few hours.
Mummy, calm down na.
4. When the person praying for journey mercies turns it into a church service.
Oga, can we move?
5. How your parents squeeze you and your siblings at the back:
The worst.
6. When you still have to share the backseat with load that didn’t enter the boot.
What is it? Are we moving?
7. When your mother immediately starts playing her gospel music.
Chai!
8. How your parents look at you if you try to play your own music.
“Are you a demon?”
9. Your father, if he has not seen banana and groundnut to buy.
It is by force.
10. When your parents finally put off the AC because of petrol.
Kuku kill me.
11. When your father refuses to stop for you to use the toilet because he stopped an hour ago.
Is it fair?
12. When one of your siblings farts in the car.
UGH!
13. When the phone battery you’ve been managing finally dies.
It’s all over.
14. You, when one of your siblings starts dozing off on your shoulder.
See this one.
15. When you and your siblings start fighting and your parents threaten to drop you on the road.
Ah! No oh!
16. How you come down from the car when you finally reach your destination:
FINALLY!
