Every estate WhatsApp group in Nigeria is a social experiment gone wrong — a chaotic mix of serious discussions, unnecessary arguments, and random people who never actually contribute but somehow always type “Noted.”
Here are 10 people you’ll definitely meet in any estate WhatsApp group chat.
1. The Chairman
The chairman who takes their admin role a little too seriously — acting like they were elected to run a small country. They believe every decision, no matter how small, must go through them, but God forbid you ask them to account for the donation you dropped last month.
Typical message:
2. The Warrior
The warrior is always in the mood to fight. No issue is too small or irrelevant to warrant a long, unnecessary paragraph that’s filled with receipts and dripping with condescension. They don’t even argue to win, they do it for the chance to call a neighbour an “Ode.”
Typical message:
3. The Creeper
The creeper is always online but never speaks. They read every single message, sometimes within seconds of it dropping, but the only proof of their existence is the occasional ‘thumbs up’ they give an announcement every quarter.
Typical message:
4. The Broadcaster
The broadcaster always starts their day with a generic “Good morning” message, followed by an image of a dove with glitter effects. Then by noon, they’re forwarding insane ‘news’ like “Scientists confirm eating fufu causes cancer.”
Typical message:
“My deeply spiritual sister sent a voice note to our family WhatsApp group, saying someone was working to bring us down. For context, the group includes our parents and all six siblings.“
These Nigerians open up on the drama in their family WhatsApp groups, and the stories are hilarious.
5. The Complainer
The complainer has more hate in their heart for the estate than everyone in the group combined. In fact, if they haven’t complained about NEPA, the way a visitor parked or someone’s dog in the last 24 hours, you should probably break down their door to make sure they’re still alive.
Typical message:
6. The Peacemaker
The peacemaker is the self-appointed referee of the group, always trying to settle arguments before they turn into a full-blown war. But their attempts at diplomacy never work, and they usually just end up frustrated.
Typical message:
7. The Rebel
The rebel, who is most likely Gen Z, has no respect for the sham of a system. If the chairman announces a new rule or a random levy, they are the first to question it. They will argue with every elder in the group, skillfully using sarcasm as their superpower.
Typical message:
8. The Corporate Beggar
The corporate beggar has a lot in common with the creepy observer, except their silence is not to be mistaken for disinterest in the group’s activities. They have a simple job of profiling everyone and planning when to attack best. So, you won’t find their messages in the group, but it sure as well will be in your DM.
Typical message:
9. The Exiter
This one has a bloated sense of self-importance and makes it a point for other neighbours to bear witness to their pride. They’re quick to exit the group and only return after the chairman and other self-appointed excos have begged them.
Typical message:
10. The Vendor
They barely know what’s happening in the estate because, to them, home is just where they sleep, their real home is their store. They rarely engage in estate discussions unless it involves a market run or something that needs to be bought (which they always volunteer for). And no matter how heated an argument gets, trust them to slide in an advert for their business.
Typical message:
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