There are only two ways to step out of a danfo in Lagos during rush hour: drenched in your own sweat or drenched in the sweat of the passenger beside you. If you’ve ever used public transport in this city, you already know it’s a battle against heat, body odour, and a deep questioning of your life choices.
Since NIVEA is out here trying to save our armpits with their new Deo Dry campaign, we’ve taken it upon ourselves to rank Nigerian public transport by how urgently you need deodorant after the ride.
6. BRT – A Breath of Fresh Air (If You’re Lucky)
BRT buses are air-conditioned (sometimes), have actual seats (most times), and give you enough personal space (if you fight for it). But even the best BRT can betray you if the AC decides to go on strike, turning the bus into a slow cooker. You might not need deodorant immediately after, but a quick top-up won’t hurt.
Sweat Level: 2/10 – Slight armpit dampness, nothing crazy.
5. Keke Napep – Open Air, Open Smell
Keke is like being in an Uber but with a natural breeze and a 50/50 chance of inhaling either fresh air or market woman sweat. The wind makes it manageable, but if you get stuck in traffic with the sun directly above, it’s game over.
Sweat Level: 4/10 – You’re fine unless it’s a particularly hot afternoon.
4. Danfo – The Sweaty Olympics
A danfo is where you realise deodorant isn’t just self-care, it’s a public service. Packed tighter than a bowl of party jollof, you will leave the bus with sweat patches in places you didn’t know sweat could reach. The body heat from the conductor alone is enough to warm up a cold drink.
Sweat Level: 7/10 – Bring extra deodorant, trust me.
3. Okada – Ride Fast, Sweat Faster
Okada should be a cheat code because of the wind factor, but here’s the catch: the second you remove that sweaty helmet (if you’re lucky enough to have one), it’s over. Your head smells like every passenger before you, and if you’re wearing a backpack, your back is already drenched.
Sweat Level: 8/10 – Your armpits are fine, but your head? Different story.
2. Molue – A Moving Sauna
A molue is a danfo but worse. More people, more sweat, more struggle. It’s so packed that even the breeze from the open window refuses to enter. The only people who survive are the ones who apply deodorant like it’s a daily ritual.
Sweat Level: 9/10 – You don’t need deodorant after. You need a shower.
1. Train from Agege to Iddo – The Ultimate Sweat Generator
If you’ve ever been on a Lagos train, you already know. Forget deodorant; this is an out-of-body experience. Between the overcrowding and the human heat, you’ll step out wondering if you ran a marathon. The only way to survive is to accept your fate or carry NIVEA’s Deo Dry in your pocket like your life depends on it.
Sweat Level: 11/10 – It’s a jungle out here.
Moral of the story? Nigerian public transport will humble you, but at least your armpits don’t have to suffer. Stay fresh, stay dry, and may your seat partner never be someone who forgot to use deodorant.
