Your japa dreams have finally come to pass, and it’s time to leave Nigeria. It’s also time to sell all your properties for extra cash.
When I say “property”, you might be thinking cars and family land. No, that’s for bastardly-rich people. For ordinary citizens like you and me, these items are the sellable property.
Plastic “takeaway” plates
We all still have a giant pile of takeaway plates dating back since 2005. Some people call it hoarding, I say it’s saving the environment from plastic pollution. So what if they now look like a fair Igbo babe? They still work, right? Sell them.
Plastic bags
Why throw away what you’ve spent years accumulating, when you can just pass on the tradition to someone else for a fee? If you think no one will buy because they have their own stash of plastic bags, just try it first. There’s no such thing as too many plastic bags.
Power bank
There’s no NEPA where you’re going, so you might as well sell your power bank to those who still need it.
Hand fans
Sure, the sun is everywhere, but the one abroad sun-kisses people.
Cash
Specifically, the new naira notes. It’s now worth more than dollars in Nigeria, so you’ll be smiling to the bank.
Body parts
Wherever you’re relocating to, the odds are their medical system is better than Nigeria’s. I’m sure they can keep you alive even without a heart or liver.
Wi-Fi devices and data
You can even throw in your sim cards as a bonus. Considering how much these internet service providers have disgraced us, I say it’s good riddance to bad rubbish.
Your glucose guardian
Unless they’ll be sending you funds in foreign currency, sell them. What do you need naira for when you’re already in a new dispensation?
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