There’s no light, fuel is expensive, and the harmattan is confused. So, we’re left with nothing but to deal with this scary heat.
It’s so hot that everything on this list stands no chance of competing with this heat.
You
You’re so physically attractive that you make others feel insecure. But, my dear, I have some news for you: The heat in town has taken your spot. Now all you can do is cry about the Neps with all of us.
Miami Heat
If you think the American basketball team is the hottest thing ever, you don’t know ball. This is not 2013 when they had Dwayne Wade and LeBron James, and could easily win a 7 game series. The hot weather wins this round, (it doesn’t have injured players).
Have you seen our Valentine Special yet? We brought back three couples – one now with kids, one now married and the last, still best friends – to share how their relationships have evolved in the last five years. Watch the first episode below:
Ibadan Micra taxis
The Micra taxis in Ibadan see the sun more than everyone every day. The heat inside it is even incomparable. But the heat outside right now can melt it down to a mass of purple and yellow if it stays too long.
Dangote’s phone in 2021
The resulting hotness of Dangote’s phone from non-stop calls and messages after his ass leaked online was probably enough to make coffee. But this heat can cosplay as hell’s kitchen. The heat wins.
Samsung Note 7
Samsung Note 7 phones gained notoriety from its overheating and exploding batteries in 2016, but the heat currently combating us in Nigeria? It’ll beat out of you all the “waters” Tyla sang about. And when you lose your breath, what’s next?
That one Sheyman and Dr. Pat song
Remember the hot Sheyman’s and Dr. Pat’s song that went, “I’m hotter than fire, give me some water” in 2009? But is it hotter than anything out right now, talk more of this heat wave?
Hell
We’ve not been to hell, but what this heat has unleashed is hotter than Gerald Johnson’s description of it. At least, Rihanna’s Umbrella plays in hell, this Nigerian heat screams, “Get right with God!”
