You’re Nigerian. Cheating is in your blood. You might try to fight it but eventually, your true nature will prevail.
To make it easier for you, we are offering you this nice guide to help you manage your diverse portfolio of partners. Shh. Don’t let your partner know.
1. Call all of them “Babe, Honey”
That way, you won’t accidentally call them each other’s names.
2. Save your side’s number with “Kunle Rewire.”
But don’t come and meet us when she asks you why Kunle Rewire is telling you he enjoyed all your special moves last night.
3. Don’t use Face ID
They can open your phone when you’re sleeping
4. Use a strong passcode
Naturally, your passwords should be something along the lines of “Wnb][UHm886KKq**491^2lovemybaby”. Nothing less than this.
5. Use a unisex perfume
So that when you come back smelling like men’s cologne or women’s perfume, they won’t suspect anything.
6. Give them timetable
Be careful to spread them across different times. Memorise the schedule so you’re not caught slipping.
7. Go to bed “early”
When you’ve been busy climbing your side pieces and haven’t replied your main’s text in a while, leave it till the next morning and tell them you slept off. Doesn’t matter that you slept off by 5 pm. Just tell them.
