Some Instagram girlies recently cosplayed as African mums, and people aren’t having it. They might draw unwanted attention to you or keep you waiting longer than necessary, but African mums keep their dignity intact when they are outside.
If like me, you’ve taken the time to observe your African mum, then you might relate with these points.
They serve fire looks
One thing African mums will do is make heads turn, so no mismatched colours or scruffy outfits. Makeup is always on fleek, and their burglary-style shades will rival Tems’.
Bombastic side-eye does the talking
I’ve always argued that the safest place to try your African mum is when you’re out of the house. They hardly lose their composure. Instead, the bombastic side-eye does all the talking. One look from her will stop you from opening that bottle of alcoholic wine on the table.
They get 100% in table manners
I can’t remember the number of times I’ve passed my big, tough meat to my mum at parties, because I’m too embarrassed to dig into it properly. The meat always returns in finely chopped bits, and she does it so effortlessly. This is to tell you how proper African mums can get when it comes to handling food in public.
Show up with their “twin”
The twin is either their best friend, favourite daughter or younger sibling. And God save you if you don’t extend the same bit of courtesy and warmness to this plus-one.
Smooth operators with the food
They might feel the need to return home with jollof or Chivita packs, but they do it with class. An African mum either liaises with the organiser or waiters. If this fails, you’d hardly notice that plate-to-purse or table-to-bag transition because they’re smooth with it.
They don’t greet everybody
African mums might greet and stop to chat with everyone on their street, but surely, not at parties. Once in, they head straight to their allocated spot and wait for the celebrant to locate them. If they go looking for the celebrant, it’s to hand over an enveloped cash gift or announce their exit.
Dance with panache
They must hit the dance floor because how else will they put their mint ₦100 notes to good use? But one thing they’ll do on that dance floor is maintain class even while hitting the lowest of lows with their towering headgear.
They’re after fire photos
They might want the picture emboldened or capturing odd details, but no African mum is searching for the mango tree and yellow marigold plants to strike a pose. BFR.
You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.
