Are you tired of waiting for a promotion that doesn’t seem to be coming? We get it, and that’s why we made this guide to getting one.
1. Work hard
Work very hard. Show up at work before everybody. Do their work and yours too. You can even go on public holidays to show them that you mean business. They will have no choice but to promote you.
2. Ask (beg) for a promotion
Ask, and it shall be given unto you. If you want a promotion, just ask. If that fails, don’t worry. There are other things you can try.
3. Pray and fast
If asking your employer doesn’t work, take it up to sky daddy. Pray and fast for 7 days straight. We promise that things will change.
4. Announce your promotion
It doesn’t matter if they’ve not promoted you. Just announce it and thank them for promoting you.
5. Shapeshift
This is the easiest way to get a promotion. Simply turn into the person occupying the position you want and lock them in a room.
6. Lock yourself in your boss’ office
Lock yourself in your boss’ office before they get there. Declare yourself the new boss and start running things.
When you finally get that promotion, don’t forget to spray us money.
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