World Cup starts in nine days. We can understand if you’re not excited. Nigeria isn’t at the World Cup because Ghana beat our asses.
Don’t worry, though. We’ve brought you a list of countries you can support and not feel unpatriotic.
Canada
Who said Nigeria isn’t at the World Cup, please? Check the Canadian national team in 15 years, and walahi, you’re just going to see names like Adebayo, Chuma and Ogedengbe. Just support our people. Who knows? Canada might see your tweets and give you permanent residence for patriotism.
England
I’m putting this on the list simply because I love Bukayo Saka.
Argentina
This is the last chance for the greatest footballer of all time to win football’s biggest prize. So he’s going to need as much support from everywhere across the world to make this happen. A Messi World Cup is at the same level of importance as ending world poverty.
Ghana
Our brothers in jollof are going to World Cup. If they win, they’ll lord it over us for the rest of our lives, and it’ll be painful. But also, we’ll be able to say a West African has won the World Cup. Not bad.
Germany
Jamal Musiala and Karim Adeyemi are on the German team. Even though they’re choosing to play for another country, I’ll still support them.
Cameroon
I’m adding Cameroon to the list because I’ve started using a lot of Cameroon pepper in my cooking, and omo, it’s so good. God bless the country that produced it. They deserve to win the World Cup.