If you haven’t heard, some former military officials in the United States basically revealed that aliens exist. They weren’t reading the script for a Hollywood movie. Real life.
TBH, it makes sense because the existence of aliens is the only explanation for some weird stuff that has happened in this world.
The whole Buhari body double situation
Now that I think about it, Jubril from Sudan could have very well been Jubril from Mars.
Penises disappearing in the market
I’ve always wondered why a babalawo needed only the person’s genitals. What if they carried it to the shrine and realised the penis wasn’t potent for what they needed it for? Would they just throw it away? Why not carry the whole person? Our babalawos are much smarter than that, so it had to be the work of aliens.
Animals swallowing money
On this Obasanjo internet, we heard that a snake swallowed ₦36 million at JAMB office, monkeys swallowed ₦70 million at someone’s farm, and a gorilla swallowed ₦6.8 million at Kano Zoological Gardens. I smell aliens.
This “fruit”
Is it a fruit or a seed? And why do you have to spend hours “licking” it to get any form of goodness out of it? There’s nothing anyone wants to tell me. The aliens sent it to stress us.
The tension between NEPA and rain
Why does the light always go off when it rains? And why does the light spoil if they mistakenly forget to take it when it rains? No one has answers because it’s the work of the aliens.
Nigerian Twitter
If you sneeze anyhow on Nigerian Twitter, you can get dragged till the fifth generation. It’s also on Nigerian Twitter you’ll find people who haven’t paid house rent advising celebrities on how to spend their money. I’m sure there are some aliens hiding on that Elon app.
Banks charging people to receive money
Nigerian banks charging both the sender and receiver a percentage of the money involved in the transaction must be the work of aliens. Maybe the government is already aware of the aliens and is using style to gather money to protect us from a likely alien invasion. We love a proactive government.
Lagos apartments
If you deep it, the reason your kitchen is the size of a radio battery is so the aliens don’t have space to hide in your home.
Nigerian parents having the same parenting manual
The aliens likely have one software they upload to every person’s head, and it activates when they become parents. Why else do all our mothers love us putting things on their heads?
Nigeria
We’ve been saying, “Nigeria is a joke” for the longest. Now it’s clear the aliens are involved. They’re probably testing out their strategies here before rolling out to the whole world.
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